I am so tired, tired of people's lies, the men of this house being
lazy, bullshit (daughter), fakeness of people, cleaning,cooking &
everything else in life right now. Mike came home around 6:30 on the
Christmas Eve, left on the 26, came home at 2:30am on Jan 1, left Jan 2.
Since then he has been home twice for 12 hours and most of that was
sleeping. Add to that the kids were on vacation from Dec. 22 until Jan 4
and now a three day weekend, I am exhausted. How sad is it that my only
break is getting a workout at the gym, just so I can have some time
without hearing my kids voices. I do love them, I just need a break.
Normally I get my nails done every two or three weeks, once fills, next
would be pedicure and fills. That is time for me, just me (sometimes my
best friend comes) but no hubby or kids , it is time for me to
regroup and it has been over a month since that has happened. His plan
is to be home tomorrow night, then leave on Thursday morning and be gone
until the following weekend. I suggested he just work until Friday then
be home for the whole weekend so the boys can spend time with him and I
can get a break. When he does come home we have to talk about him
taking the lazy way of doing things because it is rubbing off on Donald.
Most of the time I can handle doing it all but I can't have other
people do things half-fast and then I have to redo it so it is done
correctly or that I have to finish what they started. Like when Mike did
some laundry for me then left it all for me to put away while I have
orders to fill. Or like when Mike said he was going to plan things for
us, it been two years and I am still waiting. I am not a woman who
leaves hints about what I would like, I outright say it so there is no
guessing but it feels like I am never listened to. Like when Mike and I
talked once about time for the two of us. I explained that I have to
handle everything on the home front by myself and that he could plan
time for us, a night out or even a night after the boys went to bed do
take out and dancing in the living room. Nothing, he has done nothing,
he just doesn't get that after a while words don't mean as much as
actions do. I understand that he has Aspie charactics but once in a
while I would like to feel like I matter and that I am not just
everyones servant. Ok pity party over.
Kyle only undressed
twice today and he had a great EI session. Although he didn't eat dinner
tonight so I am sure he will be real hungry in the morning. For some
odd reason I am worried about his pooping, my days are so blended I
can't remember when he pooped last. One minute I think he did yesterday
but then I am not sure if I am thinking of Friday. He is happy and not
cramping so I am hoping all is good. Oh he is so cute, while doing a
stacking toy with him, everything he got one right he said "high five"
and hold up his hand. He got such a kick out of it.
Karl was
good today, he actually played up stairs during Kyle's EI session
instead of trying to get all the attention. He normally answers
everything for Kyle and that is not productive for Kyle. I talked with
Kyle's OT about the water issue with Karl since she was Karl's OT last
year. She agreed that it is best to work on the water OCD before the
potty training. Then when Karl came down stairs she saw his other OCD.
Kyle had played with the stacking toy, after he had done it correctly
he moved a few pieces. Karl came in, looked at the toy, then walked
around it looking at it then fixed it, I told her how in stores he fixes
the merchandise on shelves. She agreed that he has strong OCD's,
that I have to help him learn to cope and not always act on them. All I
can say is that it will be very interesting but since I will only work
on one OCD at a time water is first.
Donald does not like
being off schedule so today was pure hell with him. I want to be
understanding but he is older and knows better. But tomorrow is another
day and it is a school day so I am sure things will be better.
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