Other than a few friends I am not sure who reads this blog, but I
wanted to say sorry for not wrting in a while. The stress of everything
started to get the best of me so I had to take a break from some things
to regroup and figure out how I was going to continue without losing my
mind. Stress is a funny thing, at first a little stress is manageable
then when more adds you think you can handle it and the next thing you
know you are buried in stress and what should be enjoyable feels like a
chore that you just want to be over. Now when you add in that your
husband is a trucker and two possiblity three of your boys have Autism,
the stress can be unbarable. But you think if I get thru today then
tomorrow will be better or I get thru this week, next week will be
better. Although the fact is that it does not get easier to manage and
you get to the point that you can't get things done, can't think
straight and you feel like a total failure. I have dealt with many forms
of stress throughout my life as you may have read in posts so I have
always thought it was just a normal part of life. Some amounts of stress
can be normal but I am not sure Superwoman could carry the stress I
have had on my shoulders. Because of what Doctors did to me with
medicine when I was a baby I am against taking most medicines so I never
would asked for help.
Last Monday I went to the Doctors, it
was a good visit, I am in good health and lost two more pounds. I
talked with her about how I had been feeling, it was so hard to do, I
felt like I was saying I am a failure. She was great, she explained that
what I do in one day is more than what most do in a week and how I was
feeling is normal for everything I go thru. She knows my concerns about
meds but explained to me that some meds can help take the edge off to
help me cope with the stresses. So I agreed to give it a try.
It has been a week and I must agree with my Doctor the meds are
helping. I am able to be more patient with the boys, meltdowns and
everything else. The other day I went to take a shower and to save time
we had Kyle join me. Normally I would rush thru it as I had too many
other things to do. But this day I looked down at Kyle and he gave me a
big smile that melted my heart. Instead of rushing to finish, I sat down
and played fish with him & splashed water making a big mess. The
best part was I didn't worry about the mess or other things I had to do,
I enjoyed the moment without stress. On Monday I did nothing but relax
with the boys and I even took a nap. Tuesday I made an Indoor Playground
Olympics for the boys and I to play, we had so much fun. For those
interested my business Facebook page - Karleen's Ideas has pictures of
the Olympic set up in case you would like to do it in your house. I
highly recommend making the olympic set up and just give in to the child
of you for a while. I am looking forward to getting back on track with
my writing as I am beginning to feel like me again.
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