OCD (original date 4/12/2010)

As I have mentioned before I see OCD behavior in all my boys. Donald likes things to stay the same, he gets very upset if his brothers moves his stuff. Donald is a rule follower, which is good if you are an adult wanting him to follow the rules. His peers don’t look kindly on rule followers and tend to outcast him during recess or group activities. We have actually worked with Donald teaching him not to follow some small rules. This can be tricky as we want him to do the right thing but we want him to fit in with his peers also. So when the pool rules say no jumping, we allow him to jump with our permission. I know some may think this is wrong but as in all aspects of parenting it is a balancing act. I do think Donald understands the difference between breaking a minor rule or breaking a major rule. I know in school he is still having a hard time, he trys to make his friends follow the rules. Once Donald had gone to the bathroom and when he came back he wanted to put the bathroom card back in its spot. The problem was another student had to go to the bathroom real bad and wanted Donald to hand the card to him. This was different from routine so Donald insisted he put the card on the hook. The teacher ended up having to resolve the situation. Her and I had a good laugh about it during a parent teacher conference, we know he means well but he has to learn to loosen up a little.

       Karl has my organization OCD, a couple of weeks ago a student put his coat on the wrong hook and Karl started to yell and insisted it get fixed. In class he insist that toys are put away in the right bins. At home and at school we are working at redirecting him to other activities, sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t. Karl can’t stand when his clothing gets wet or dirty, he takes it off and wants new clothing. Now I make  him stay naked and won’t let him get new clothes. One night he cryed for an hour but he did put his clothes that were wet back on. Tonight he spilled a drop of juice on his sweatshirt and wouldn't wear it even though he was cold. I did not have another sweatshirt so there was nothing I could do. After about 20 minutes he looked at me and said "Mom I cold" and I offered him the same sweatshirt back and he put it on without a fuss.  Now he has a cleaning OCD developing, he wants everything to be clean. If he sees the tiniest spot of fluid on the floor, he will get eight sheets of paper towel to clean it up. If something dry makes a mess he will get the broom, dust pan & brush and start cleaning it up. Now I would normally like the fact that I have a child helping with housework but when it is in an OCD manor it is upsetting.

       Kyle turns two one month from today and we are seeing OCD behavior start. At the Y one day he had to match up the people to the train cars by color. He would not alter the colors. Now if this was in therapy when we are trying to teach him his colors this would be fine but him doing it during normal behavior is a sign. Now if he gets his hands dirty while eating he stops and has to have them cleaned before he will continue to eat. Today he stopped 5 times while eating a small bowl of Doritos to have me clean the orange off his fingers. I am trying to have him keep stuff on his hands for a bit but it is hard because he is so young. I am going to try lengthening the time by a minute each time.

        The main thing I do when any of their OCD's come up is encourage them to face their OCD. I believe that not catering to their OCD behavior will help them when they are older and have to live on their own. I will not be able to make the world the way they want as they grow and I do not want them to get stuck when something happens or changes on them. I want them to be successful in careers & marriage. What can I say, I want alot of Grandchildren, I think 16 is a good number.