For children with Autism being a a Team can be the hardest thing for
them as they normally like to be alone. It is especially hard on Sports
Teams as they are dealing with Sensory Issues, Social Issues and trying
to learn the game. Last year we took a chance and let Donald play
Basketball, many thought I was crazy but Donald wanted to play so we
tried. His coach was amazing with Donald, he did what he could to learn
& understand Autism and was big on Teamwork and Good Sportsmanship.
Donald's teammates accepted him, no questions asked, they cheered him,
encouraged him and were friends with him. When Donald got his first
Basket during a game you would have thought we won the World Series with
the cheering that took place from players, coaches and parents, I cried
with pride.
Fast forward to this season, new coach, new level
difficulty and all new players does not make for an easy start to
Donald's second year. Donald was struggling more and with his nerves
more quirks were visible, the coach and other players did not know him
or understand him. I offered to be assistant coach as there was not one
already. As most of you know my parenting techniques are out of the box
so of course so will my coaching techniques. I tend to take a backseat
and observe as that is how I learn how to teach/coach kids. I would
suggest things to the coach as I saw things but did things slowly to
earn their trust that I do know a thing or two about Basketball even
though I am a girl. LOL I tried to bring up what I was noticing about
tunnel vision of players and how players cannot get better if they are
not passed the ball. Coach's way to handle it was different from what I
wanted to do so I took a step back. The last thing I wanted was to be
thought of as a Mom that wants to overprotect my son when what I wanted
was teamwork by ALL players. Well it got to the point I could not watch
Donald be outcasted and Donald said he wanted to quit but would
continue in hopes things would change. Last week's game Donald was not
passed the ball once and only passed the ball a few times at practice.
Then last night there was a Youth Night at the High School Game, kids
were to wear their team shirts and sit together. Donald and I went early
to watch the Jr Varsity game, as some of Donald's teammates came in
they barely said Hi to him and did not sit with him. So I decided a new
approach was needed, a direct approach.
I talked with most of the
team while Donald watch another game. I told them I had a question for
them and that I wanted them to answer honestly. We all talked about an
honest answer verses a polite answer and how they were not to answer the
question until they all talked and decided as a team. I asked them if
they wanted Donald on the team, I told them that it is fine if their
honest answer was no, that Donald would go on another team to play. I
explained to them that if they wanted him on the team then they need to
include him in games & practices. I explained that I am not asking
them to be Donald's friend as they have shown they have no interest in
being his friend and that is OK. I told them that we all know Donald is
not the best player but he is trying so hard and we talked about how
much Donald practice during vacation. We talked about how they treated
him at the game last night and how would they feel if they were treated
that way. They agreed it wasn't very nice. I explained to them that I
know Donald acts a little quirky and does quirky things, then I
explained that Donald has Asperger's a form of Autism and he can't
always control his quirks but he tries. (I did not go into detail about
his Asperger's) I asked them to make an honest decision, that if it was
no then let Donald go and not give a polite answer of yes then ignore
him on the court again.
I stepped away and let the boys talk.
There was no complaining, sighs or negativity. They were all charged up
talking about ways they could make things work and came up with a plan
on their own. They came to me and told me their honest answer was yes
they wanted him on the team. That they would try to get it so Donald
would touch the ball at least ten times a game. I was so PROUD of them
for not only making a good decision but to create a plan all on their
own to backup their decision.
The Team played a GREAT Game!!!!!
They really worked as a Team and it paid off as we had our first WIN of
the Season:) Donald got his first basket of the season and his teammates
were so proud of him. They saw that he has been working hard to improve
and that he just needed to get the ball to do it. I saw more teamwork
today than I have seen all season.
I AM SO PROUD OF THE TEAM!!!!!
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