Tonight I am reminded why I work so hard for the Kennebunk Community
to understand Autism. Last Summer my Karl almost died from a
Peritonsillar Abscess and was traumatize from all that was done to him
by Doctors and Nurses. Then he was put through a sleep study followed
by another surgery. With all Karl was put through he regressed about two
years in Social Interaction. I have been working with his teachers to
help him work through his issues. One area he struggles with is Chorus
rehearsals, he struggles with the transition of the end of school and
start of chorus and has trouble sitting still but does fine with
performances at Monday Morning meetings. I have been trying to help
finding strategies to help Karl work through his struggles, on 1/23 his
teacher and I came up with a reward system and explained it to Karl.
What I did not know was the following Wednesday 1/30 would be his last
chance. He did well going to Chorus but struggled during so the next
night I received an email telling me he was dismissed from Chorus. While
I understand rules need to be followed and friends can tell you I make
my boys follow the rules. Something is unsettling Karl during rehearsal
which is keeping him from sitting still. I could understand his
dismissal if I was ignoring the issues or if Karl was out of control
yelling and stuff. This is not the case, I have been trying to help and
to me Karl's behavior is not malicious. Karl is walking around a bit,
not sitting still and last week hid under coats crying. While this
behavior is wrong, I do not feel it required dismissal on the first
rehearsal since starting a reward system.
Since last Thursday I
have emailed the teacher asking for Karl to have another chance. I have
offered to aid Karl during rehearsal to help find out what is bothering
him. Tonight I found out that Karl will not be given another chance. I
was told "A pattern of "one more chance" has changed into too many
chances and Karl being confused about what the commitment involves." My
feelings on that statement are that I was NEVER told Karl had 'one more
chance' and that Karl does not understand 'one more chance' with
things like this because I work with him to figure out what is bothering
him or distracting him and teach him how to work though it. I have been
told that Karl can ask to rejoin at the end of February but I do not
think I will let him join/rejoin 'optional' School Activities again. I
cannot take the chance that this will happen again when he struggles.
He has Autism and will go through regressions for which I teach him to
work through. I do not believe in a teacher or coach putting him out of
Chorus or a sport without exhausting every option, have him come back
only to be put out again when he struggles. This method is NOT how a
child with Autism learns to work through things.
Knowing Karl is
going to be very upset when I tell him that he can no longer sing at the
Monday Morning meeting, I have emailed the school telling them he will
most likely be staying home tomorrow. When we moved here 2.5 years ago
Karl barely spoke, this time last year he was asked to join Chorus
because he sang so well. He is so proud when he sings at Monday Morning
meetings and now that has been taken from him.
Society needs to
understand that taking away the one thing a child with Autism has pride
in can devastate the child and cause more regression. I will not put him
back into Chorus unless I know that his struggles will be handle on the
methods of helping him and not punishing him for things he does not
understand. I can only pray that this dismissal from Chorus does not
cause him to lose interest in singing.
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