Monday, May 27, 2013

Parenthood - The Show (original date 3/3/2011)

Warning!!!!!!!
When reading this blog remember I am talking about how the show portrays Max’s Asperger’s . My comments are not reflecting towards anyone in life. For those that don’t know me I have three boys with Autism, two with AS & one ASD. Theses comments are my opinions, I ask that you put comments here on the blog page and not on FB and please be respectful!!

Parenthood - I loved the first season, I felt it was a little negative but they were just finding out Max’s dx so I hoped the second season would be more positive. Well that hasn’t happened, Kristina & Adam are STUCK on the dx.  On the show they say they got the dx a year ago but K&A act like they just found out. This show has a great opportunity to show people about Autism & help Society understand Autism. For this to work it would need to be balanced, showing the good with the bad, so far the show is one sided  - NEGATIVE. They show a meltdown but don’t show K&A using methods to help Max, on 2/22 episode Max has a meltdown about Gaby and K&A just look at each other. The next day I saw a woman post the comment “my son was just dx with AS, is that really what I have to look forward to?”  Scenes with the meltdown not showing that a child can regroup leaves a bad impression on those who don’t understand Autism. Even if they didn’t show how he regrouped, K&A could have talked about  how a method Gaby taught them worked. Oh wait,  for that to happen, Gaby would actually have to work with K&A implementing techniques. The rest of my critiques will be by character name then the last episode.
Max - For the most part the Max’s character is pretty good impression of AS.  I am glad to see that they are showing more meltdowns in more recent episodes. Although some of the things he does is are not from AS, they are normal  kid things but he is not getting disciplined. The show is just showing that a child with Autism is allowed to do what they want. Most of society already thinks we use Autism as an excuse and the show is supporting that thought. Most of you know I discipline the boys no matter what the reason is for them acting up. We want the world to treat ASD kids the same as others, then so must we as parents. I would never let my nt daughter K talk to me with that attitude so you can be sure I will not let my boys talk to me like that. No cues are given to Max and they are not correcting his bad behavior enough to help him be successful in life. Kristina worries about who will take care of Max, well she should because she is not teaching him to take care of himself. He should have chores & make his school lunch on his own, but he does nothing for himself.
Gaby - Well great idea to have a behavioral therapist  around but in the real world most parents can not afford to have a BT in the house most of the day. Why isn’t she encouraging K&A to do the techniques with her so they won’t be lost when she is not there. Max has a reward system that is mentioned but not really shown, why hasn’t she set up discipline system for Max. He needs to learn consequences for his actions. Gaby would have been the perfect person to help K&A with the Birthday Party plans. Instead Kristina was clueless to what she needed to do to prepare for a party with all the children having Autism. Sorry but I think Crosby had it right - Gaby is a babysitter for K&A. Gaby does not work with the family on issues, she updates K&A just like a sitter would. Gaby, K&A should be working together as a team, not have Gaby do all the work. Max responds to Gaby better because he knows where he stands with her but with K&A still not knowing what they are doing, Max is left not  feeling secure. Why hasn’t Gaby set up a sensory diet for Max yet.
K&A Together -  K- went to two support meeting & A - went to one support meeting, they met with the Doc for dx, Halloween & telling Max and they have done a little research online. In a years time they should know a lot more about AS by now. They have one Autism family as friends that act like they know all about Autism but by the way their sons acts they are clueless. They don’t discipline their son & let him eat everything in sight so how is this family suppose to help K&A. K&A are never on the same page, K overreacts to EVERYTHING & A is to laid back. By now the Doc should have told them to get counseling themselves to learn to cope with Autism & how to work together. There are times that Haddie seems like the adult in the house instead of the parent. Why does K&A never include Haddie in on Max’s AS  therapy or talk to her about techniques for her and Max. After a year of knowing about AS quirks, they did not pick up on the signs that Andy the Bug Guy had AS. To call Andy weird was wrong!! Max and Andy were acting exactly alike then K has the “deer in the headlights look” when the teacher tells her Andy has AS. What really pissed me off was even after they found out Andy had AS they still wanted to fire him. They should have been really supportive of Andy and NOT nitpick Andy’s quirks.
Adam - He screams at Crosby that Max has Asperger’s but Adam is in denial.  On one hand is denial has him pushing Max to do things but he is pushing for the wrong reasons. He is pushing Max because he wants Max to be NT, when he should be pushing Max so Max will be able to take care of himself someday. Has anyone noticed that Adam himself needs a schedule??? And can be quite anal about certain issues?? Adam needs a Autism Father Mentor to help him work thru his issues. Why is it Adam wants Max to have his interests but then he puts down Max’s interest in bug. Even with NT children there is no guarantee that a child with have the same interests as his/her parents so why is this such an issues.
Kristina - Sorry but she needs to be bitch slapped every episode!!!!! K has more meltdowns than Max does and her paranoia is unreal and annoying. She is overly controlling to EVERYTHING and not in a good way. Max’s dx is high functioning AS and K cries like he is dying. ALL her crying would be understandable if Max had  appointments a month, working every waking hour to help Max talk, hug and watching him every second to make sure he doesn’t get hurt because he doesn’t feel pain. The show has not portrayed Max to be out of control all the time like many ASD children are. Again Gaby is the one handling Max most of the time so I do not understand why k cries so much. She needs to STOP stereotyping AS and enjoy Max with HIS interests.
Telling Max -  First he is smart and old enough, he should have been told during the dx process. The faster a child understands why they have quirks the better they are about learning to cope with them. It is not realistic that in a years time K&A never thought about telling Max about his AS. Even if they hadn’t thought about it they could have asked  Max to give them a few minutes to gather their thoughts before talking to him. They made having AS sound so bad  you would have thought they were giving him a death sentence. All the crying & “deer in the headlights look” from Kristina was insane. When Max asked if they had AS that was a perfect opportunity to explain they everyone has quirks, some more than others. Then they could have told Max about K controlling OCD behavior & A about him needing routines. I love how the Doctor treated them about how they handle telling Max. I loved how he kept telling them to point out the positive side and not focus on the negative. What I don’t understand is why the show has the Doctor say to be positive about AS but the show does not follow that advice. I would love for the show to have the Bravermans meet a family that has been dealing with Autism longer and that they can show K&A that AS does not have to be so sad or hard ALL the time. Yes there are hard times, sad times but there are also good times, great times and then there are times when your child gives you a hug after months of working with him. Or the times when your son gets a basket during a game for the first time and his teammates, coaches and parents stand up, scream and cheer like your son just won the world championship.
My idea - Have them get a new BT that will set Max up with a sensory diet( I will even make & donate a weighted blanket from Karleen‘s Ideas), work with K&A on techniques & set Max up with group therapies to help with social skills. Set up rules, rewards & discipline board for Max to follow. Throw out his video games and have him interact more with others. Get more families with Autism on the show to show both families struggling and families who are not struggling. Also have someone teach Max to embrace his AS and to be proud of his AS the way my Donald is about his AS.

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