Dear Playground Dad

Dear Playground Dad,

   The one that thought it was OK to tell my son he was too old to be on the tire swing.  I understand you feel I handle things wrong the other day, you think I was too loud & that I was rude. Here is what you don’t know, I used a LOT of self-control to stop myself from being a lot louder and stopped myself from making you feel about 2” tall because you sir had no right to tell my son that he was too old for the tire swing. You are lucky that I did not know what you had done when I first approached you.

  When I approached you I had just checked on Donald and saw that he was having fun with the other kids, something he has done for the past two years. He always plays, help and looks out for the younger kids on the playground while his brothers play T-Ball and there has never been an issue. As I walked back to watch my younger sons play ball I heard you say to your friends something like – “See the kid in the red cap with the sweatshirt…..look he is just waiting to get back on that swing…..I am going to talk to him.”  So I followed you and told you if you had a problem you were to speak to me. 

  Yes my son asked your son to get off the swing because your sons cleats were dangerous while your son was standing as he could have stepped on another child’s hand with those cleats. Later I explained to my son that he was not in charge of what happens at the playground and next time to seek out an adult for advice. You may feel my son was wrong but I do not as my son’s only intention was to protect the other kids.  

 You said that my son was spinning the tire too fast, I tried to explain that many times the kids ask him to do that but you did not want to hear what I was saying so I called my son off the playground. Was I talking loud to my son, yes because I know my son, he will feel like he did something wrong so I spoke louder trying to get him to understand that I was on his side before he had a meltdown over being pulled off the playground.

  See there is something you do not know – Donald has Autism, so he processes information differently than typical kids. Other things you do not know – Donald is homeschooled because his teachers had no interest in learning about his Autism. That Donald would much rather be at his own Baseball practice but he has been bullied out of Sports in Kennebunk. He would rather be at a friend’s house but he does not have many friends because kids do not understand his quirks.

   So Donald tries to make the best of the boring T-Ball games by playing on the playground, helping the younger kids and looking out for them. Now YOU have taken one more thing away from him because YOU feel 12 years old is too old to be on a tire swing. Well Sir, I am 45 years old and I had been on that very same tire swing with the kids so you see 12 is not too old and you Sir are NOT in charge of what MY children are allowed to do.

Next time – DO NOT approach the child, ask all the parents around you to see who the child’s parents are then ASK the child’s parents to help you figure out what is going on before you act.