School starts one week from today, the closer I get the higher my stress level gets. This is the year that all the boys will be in school full day so I should be counting down the days with excitement. Instead I am dreading having to deal with a new batch of teachers, something every Autism parent deals with :( While I can respect that they have gone to college, take workshops and keep up to date with the 'new ways' to teach. I wish they would have a little more respect for me, understand that I know my boys and most importantly I know what works for them.
Today DJ and I went to meet his homeroom & advisory teacher, a little meet and greet. I thought this was a great idea and was hoping to hear that I had been listened to last Spring. It turns out that my concerns about DJ having a laptop were not communicated to some of his teachers. I had stated that DJ is not to have a laptop or internet access at school. A - I do not want my children reading textbooks on a computer, it is bad for their eyes. B - DJ cannot have internet access as he does not have self control with the internet and will play games. C - DJ NEEDS to learn to write as keyboarding classes is not working. I had explained this via email after all the battles with his Science project and again in person when I met with the principle at the end of the school year. While talking with the principle about the laptop situation I agreed compromised stating that he could have a laptop for typing purposes ONLY. I stated that he was to have text books to read, go to libraries for research and use the laptop for typing his assignments.
Today I found out that the school is giving student IPads not laptops and that there may not be keyboarding classes. Confused by this, I asked how will DJ get his work done. Voice Dictation - next question from me - How will that help?? Basically it won't but it will be "easier" for DJ to get his ideas down. (not exact words but the general idea) Let's just say that was when the temperature of my blood rose and my blood has been boiling ever since.
The word "easier" should not be said to any parent and should never be an alternative way for a student to get things done . Biggest problem with teens and young adults - they look for the easy route and that is the downfall to our country right now. What ever happened to work for what you want??? Sorry but not every child should make the team. If they have not practiced and are not good enough to play then they take a year off and practice. Then they can try out the following year. Teaching children to take the easy way is only teaching them to be lazy. Plus who has ever said - "taking the easy route got me everything I always want" ?? Our kids need to work for what they want, plain and simple!!!!!!! My fingers grew crooked, my handwriting was not the neatest but it was legible. For me taking a typing class was NOT easy but I knew I needed to learn so I worked hard. I was unable to type exactly as instructed because crooked fingers cannot reach all keys. I had to make adjustments on which fingers hit the keys but still managed to type 80wpm by the end of the course. DJ has taken keyboarding since 4th grade, not quite sure how the keyboarding on computers is better than old fashion type writers since after 3 years of keyboarding DJ cannot type.
While we live in the computer world and have a lot of technology available, that does not mean the new technology works for every child or that it is the only way to teach. I understand that computers are important to learning but they should not be a requirement to learning. I know teachers want me to get on board with technology, so they keep pushing it on me. As much as they push technology on me, I will push back stately 'old school' ways work better for my boys and for many kids on the spectrum. Just because something works for one, does not mean it works for all. Take 'new math' - it really helps some kids (well I hear it does, never seen it help anyone) but many kids have more success learning 'old math'.
As parents it is our responsibility to raise our children to be independent, to be able to hold a job and to function in the world. Not one of these tasks are easy but they need to be accomplished or our children will be on state assistance. Each school year, I have hopes that teachers will want to work WITH me and understand that I have to prepare my boys to living independently and that Autism parents have triple the work to accomplish this task than typical parents. When we moved to Kennebunk in 2010, I explained to teachers and school admins that Coventry schools battled me on DJ's needs and that he never got OT for hand writing. I was told that keyboarding would be best. I had a gut feeling that keyboarding would not be better but I trusted the teachers and agreed. Last year when getting DJ ready to start middle school, I wanted to believe that DJ would be more responsible and do his work. That was a pipe dream, teachers were to lenient, no one held DJ accountable, assignment after assignment was missed, DJ lied all the time about what homework needed to be done, he missed honor roll all year because of missed homework and lack of being prepared and he spent most of the year grounded because of not doing his homework. Around February I tried to set up a reward system for Donald for homework. All Donald needed to do was get one teacher to send me a text or email letting me know if ALL his homework had been done. I felt it was very important for Donald to set this up as it would show me that DJ wanted this to work. In the weeks that followed, I heard many excuses from him, some were from the teachers (according to DJ), there were tears from him, etc I had even spoke with his guidance counselor, letting her know what DJ was trying to do but in the end it was not set up.
DJ and I had a year of battles, battling over homework, projects and most of all teacher expectations. To the point of I did not want DJ to attend the Middle School again this year but DJ begged me to let him finish Middle School then we could switch to alternative schooling for High School. I do not want another two years of battling DJ or his teachers. So I am left with the question - Do I just give in and allow DJ to have the IPad or do I hold my ground and say no IPad and insist that things are done 'old school'?? While I would like to compromise and find a way to do both, there is no way for the teachers or myself to supervise every second DJ is on the internet. Yes, I know we can check his history but then I am back to grounding him all the time for breaking the rules. I am tired of always reacting to DJ not doing his homework, spending an hour at the computer and only typing one sentence (literally) and want to be proactive with good plan to keep him on track.
At this moment I have no idea what will happen for this school year and I am stressed to the max already!!!! My defenses are on high and do not know what to do about it, I want to have faith in the teachers but have had too many battles in the past. I understand the teachers thinks technology is best but my gut is screaming NO!!!!!!! As DJ will do what he wants (play games) instead of what he needs to do (homework).
I wish we were able to choose a school by learning styles - 'old school' verses 'new technology' !!!!
