White Potatoes Verses Purple Potatoes

    I love when I hear a typical parent complain their child is a picky eater. I laugh inside because they have no idea how easy they have it. Having one child with Autism can make dinner time the worst time of day. Having three boys with Autism has made me wish I could skip dinner some nights because there are times no matter what I cook, one of them will have a problem with it. Last night was one of those nights.

Back Story on food for my boys - Donald only wants white food and my Irish Twins hate white food.

   Yesterday I went to Hannafords to get some needed groceries and dinner items. I saw that pollock  was on sale but I was not sure how to cook it. Then I saw a recipe card for 'An Irish Pollock Dinner' and it was a GF recipe so I now had a recipe :)  All I needed to buy was leeks, potatoes and the Pollock. When I went to get the potatoes, I saw purple potatoes and thought, maybe Kyle will eat purple potatoes since he hates white potatoes. Fast forward to 3pm - I started cutting the leeks & potatoes and Donald started in about them being purple. I tried to explain that they taste the same but he already had it stuck in his head that he would not like them because they were purple. I reminded him that he likes purple tomatoes but his comeback was, "tomatoes are not white so trying purple tomatoes was OK to do. Later my Irish Twins came home and asked what smelled so good and Donald grunted. I turned to Donald and reminded him of the house rules, eat your dinner or go to bed. Then explained that he was welcome to go to bed before dinner if he planned on complaining the whole night. He quieted down and did his homework. A half hour later I served dinner - Kyle LOVED the purple potatoes, Karl was not sure about them at first but once he tried them he love them. Donald was a different story, he just sat there staring at them, I could  tell it was going to be a battle of wills. My Irish Twins finished, cleaned up and started their homework while Donald mumbled stared at the potatoes and complained that the fish did not taste right as he is use to cod or haddock.

   He was reminded of the dinner rule and 15 minutes after K&K finished I set the timer. He knows that once the timer goes off he has to be done or go to bed. At one point he said "Mom are you going to make this again?" I said "Are you going to eat your dinner?" He said "NO" to which I replied "Then yes I will make it again,  He mumbled and tried to make himself gag but in the end he ate his dinner.
   
  While last night was one of those night I wish I could skip dinner. I am glad I can say that  dinnertime is a lot better than it was years ago. Some may not agree with my technique but I am not needing to make 3 different dinners every night just so they eat and the complaining has gotten less and less as time goes on and in the end we all have to do what works for us and this technique works for us :)

 

Your Vote & The Price Your Neighbors Will Pay!!!!!!!!

      A couple of months ago was the first time I was given a flyer about the referendum. I took one look at it and instantly felt it was over the top in costs. While I agree the schools need repairs, upgrades and small expansions, this plan was too costly for our town. Since then RSU 21 families have been bombarded with information about the referendum, countless emails, postings on facebook, flyers, seeing display boards, mail and even handed a flyer at my sons parent teachers conference. In the last few weeks the discussions on facebook have increased a great deals and not in a good way. For a while I did not comment on anything knowing that no matter what I said or asked I would be attacked and told I was being negative as it has happened many times in the past. It is not that I am always negative, it is that many perceive my comments as negative as my comments do not conform to what the 'popular' crowd agrees with. As I said for a while a did not comment but I did do a lot of reading and then started doing some research. The more I read the more I felt my instinct to vote 'no' was the correct choice but felt I should get more information as I had a couple of questions. So I wrote a blog on my perspective of the referendum, commented and then asked questions. Of course I was met with opposition, most of which was civil but I could feel the tension. Because I felt the tension I asked  friends to ask questions for me so I would not be attacked. Sure enough their questions were met with answers minus the tension. So at one point during the thread I asked a couple of questions trying to clarify what others stated and was met with "Why be so negative about the sports Karleen?"  SO as long as someone else asks my questions, my questions are allowed. I really wish all the people that feel I am so negative would understand that my speaking up about wrongs that have been done is to help my children, their children and ALL children. Sorry but I WILL NOT conform to accept what is and will always strive for what is right and what our children deserve.

       MANY agree that the repairs need to be done and want them to be done. The problem is that the school board and committee made a very irresponsible decision by only putting one plan on the ballot. If the school board was really concerned about making sure the repairs got done with this referendum then they would have put two plans on the ballot. One plan that is only what is needed and another plan of what is needed and what is wanted. That would have been a fair way to let voters show how they want the repairs but cannot afford the wants.

   If my washer machine breaks, I go to the store to buy a new one, the sales person will always talk up the better model. At that point I will balance my budget  and make the decision on what I can afford and IF the extras are beneficial to me. The problem with having a community vote on this referendum is that those who feel their budget can handle the tax increase are also deciding on what their neighbors can afford without knowing what they neighbors budget. So basically the 'yes' voters are FORCING  their neighbors to take the tax increase, which is not fair for those on fixed incomes.  I have heard it said that the tax increase is only $1 a day. Way to downplay the fact that that $1 a day is $30 a month of groceries or 100 gallons of oil. By voting yes tomorrow, you will be forcing those on fixed incomes to go without food, heating oil, not be able to give the neighbors child a few bucks to shovel for him or worse force your neighbor to move out of our wonderful community.

    While I really want the repairs and necessary improvements, knowing that voting yes means my neighbors may go hungry, without heat, have a heart attack shoveling or be forced to move because of my vote means I will be voting 'NO.'

'Yes' voters how will you feel when you hear that your neighbor is going hungry, your neighbor is in the hospital with pneumonia because he/she could not afford that 100 gallons of oil, your neighbor had a heart attack because he shoveled after a snow storm or you start seeing 'For Sale' signs around town?? 

Can you really live with the consequences knowing that your neighbors paid the price for your 'yes' vote while you have a full stomach, are warm, healthy and have a home in Kennebunk to live in.

Karl's Day

January 16 it is Karl's Day in our house, since six years ago Karl saved our lives.  Karl normally slept thru the night, not even severe acid reflux woke him. On January 16, 2008 at 3:00 in the morning Karl woke up screaming, I tried to settle him down but he kept screaming. Since I was pregnant after a few minutes I had to go to the bathroom, after which I smelled oil really strong. I called my husband and he said to call the fire department. The fireman had me take the kids out of the house and put them in the car. They came in with a meter and the alarm went off, Carbon Monoxide was filling the house. Since Karl woke me early enough, there was no CM in our blood. They said if Karl hadn't woken us, we would have died that morning. So we have made January 16 Karl's Day since he is a hero.

I have been sharing this story for 6 years and now Karl is starting to share the story even though he does not understand it all. A few days ago he started to remind me that January 16 was Karl's day without anyone reminding him it was coming up.

Karl is a hero in so many ways, not only did he saved our lives that night but what he does everyday to come out of his shell, to overcome the limitations that Autism tries to put on him, makes him an incredible little boy, My Hero.

Need verses Want with ...

a side of 'can we afford the renovation plans.'  


   For those that do not know, there is a big vote coming up for renovations to two elementary schools and one high school here in Kennebunk. As we get closer the pressure to approve this plan gets stronger. I have been following a few threads on facebook posts and cannot believe the amount of pressure that is being put on people to vote yes. People getting told they have to see the schools to make an informed decision and posting pictures & videos of the schools. I find it interesting that all the pressure revolves around the conditions of the schools when everyone agrees the schools need repairs, upgrade & expansions. The problem lies in the cost of the proposed plan. Plain and simple, can our WHOLE community afford the plan, 'NO.'   One of the biggest problems in this country is debt, people buying what they cannot afford. This plan is a debt the community cannot afford because the renovation of the high school is too extravagant. From what I have read in some facebook posts school enrollment has gone down steadily over the past ten years and it is projected to continue going down. Add that people may have to move because they cannot afford the tax increase, we will be dealing with a cause and effect issue. People may have to move because they cannot afford the tax increase then local businesses may have to close because they have less customers. I know many are going to say that it will all work out and that we can all afford that extra $1 a day as some have put it. It may all work out and people may find the money to cover the tax increases but tax increases are not the only reason I will be voting no for the renovation plan.

  Before I explain the other reasons why I am voting no on the plan, I want people to know that I love Kennebunk Schools but the fact is that there are struggles in all school systems when you have a child with Autism. Sometimes those struggles are over simple services that if received at an early age means the child will need less services when they are older. For example, in fall of 2010 at Donald's 504 meeting I asked for Donald to get OT for handwriting as he was entering 4th grade and could not write. He was turned down for OT as they felt keyboarding was better for him to learn. Each year I asked for OT for handwriting but was turned down and he got extra keyboarding classes. This past fall I was told that they wanted Donald to use voice dictation as he still cannot type. I was livid about this because voice dictation would not change the fact that my son needs to learn how to write. After some debate it was approved that Donald would get OT to help him with cursive. Since during  4th, 5th & 6th grades Donald did not receive OT it will take longer for him to learn now.

   For Karl things have been different, Spring of 2012 I had to fight to keep Karl's Autism diagnosis. I was lead to believe that Karl's evaluations were to help mainstream him for 1st grade when the fact was that part of the evaluations were about his Autism Diagnosis. Comments were made at the meeting like "Karl shows no sign of Autism,"  of course he didn't, he was in a class of 7 with 3 teachers, it was not realistic, it was the perfect bubble. So the following Fall Karl was not prepared to be mainstreamed and his teacher had no idea how severe his Autism was. For a while Karl did well but by October he started to regress a lot. We had an emergency IEP meeting and created a plan to get him back on track. The following Spring I started to look around to see what would be available for Karl for the Summer as I knew he needed something to have continued Social interaction with his peers over the Summer to PREVENT regression for 2nd grade. From a School stand point he did not qualify for Extended School Year even though his teacher and school administrators agreed he needed something for continued social interaction. So I looked into Kennebunk Recreational Camp, the problem was that the 13:1 child to counselor ratio was not safe for Karl. The Rec program does not offer a 1:1 aid so I asked for a 4:1 ratio for Karl and other kids like him and was told "that is was not in the budget as they barely makes ends meet and if they did get more funds it would go to more field trip." Then the Town Manager stated in an email - " Students with disabilities are welcome but we need to ensure that there is not an undue burden for the program,........" I cried for a long time about that statement but then I gathered myself together, came up with a compromise and sent my plea to the Town Manager, School Superintendent, School Board & Town Councilman. Here is a link to that plea - http://redonautism.blogspot.com/2013/05/my-last-plea-to-town.html

  Karl having continued social interaction with his peers is very important for him. The more social interaction a child with Autism has the better his/her chances are of being independent as adults. I was hoping that the School Department & the Town could work together but I guess I was asking for the impossible. Since the Superintendent has a standard response of the ESY guidelines along with "A student's participation in the town's recreation program would not be considered part of the school's ESY services, nor is it part of the Free and Appropriate Public Education (FAPE) standards set forth in statute.  Participation is purely a family decision,...."  A family decision???  If it were up to me, Karl would having fun at the beach everyday with his family but that is not what Karl needed, he needed to be with his peers. Then the town manager responded saying that we had to hire a 1:1 aid in order for Karl to attend camp even though Mr Tibbetts has NO understanding about Autism. (side note - not one board member or councilman could take the time to respond to my email)  You can read more about it here - http://redonautism.blogspot.com/2013/07/its-tough-being-left-out-isnt-it.html

   I am happy to say that getting Karl into Toddle Inn was a big help as Karl has not regressed this year which proves that in order for him to be successful in school he needs continuous social interaction throughout the Summer. I am not sure what he will do next Summer, Toddle Inn is an option but Karl really wants to wear the Kennebunk Blue Camp shirt and hang out with his friends at camp.

    I could give other examples of what I have gone through to get my sons services, acceptance and to be included but that would take a LONG time so I will sum it up a bit. Everything I do for my boys is to prepare them to be independent as adults. For that to happen, they need to have certain services like ST, OT, Social Skills help, for me to teach them basic life skills like cooking, cleaning, self care, etc but the most important thing is that they need to be a part of a community. In some ways that are accepted by our community but in other ways they are not. While kids are polite to Donald at school, he does not have any friends outside of school. He didn't even feel comfortable enough to go on a school camping trip as he was afraid of a false sense of friendships. In the past couple of years he has been bullied out of  town rec basketball and town rec baseball programs. Add the fact that the town excluded Karl from camp makes me very nervous. What is worse is that so many sat back and allow it to happen then say I am too negative because I speak up. Sorry but change does not happen by people being bystanders.

  Now I am sure you are wondering what the above has to do with the vote, it has everything to do with the vote. If I and other parents are struggling to get basic services now, what is going to happen in the next few years??  While school enrollments may be down, those with Autism being enrolled in schools are up as 1 in 88 have Autism. Down the road more children with Autism will need services but the budgets will not be growing with the needs because tax payers were maxed out by this over the top renovation plan this year.

  It comes down to what is needed verses what is wanted with a side of 'can we afford the renovation plans."

This is how I see it, our schools need repairs, upgrades and expansions but many want the State of Art High School that the community CANNOT afford. My suggestion is that the school department comes up with an affordable proposal for what is NEEDED and WHEN the economy is better we can add in the extras.