Karleen's Ideas

         Last week was the 3rd Anniversary of the opening of Karleen's Ideas. It was bittersweet  - Sweet because my online sales are up 25% - Bitter because not one local person has walked into my shop in two months. I have tried some many techniques to show locals that Karleen's Ideas is like every other business except for the fact that instead of the shop being at a Shopping Mall it is at my house. I have handed out coupons at parades, create a shop local groups for all local businesses to network, do craft fairs, etc.....I even begged local newspapers to write a story about Karleen's Ideas & Home Occupation, The Village did a great story for me but sadly other papers refused or said they would but didn't. Many have said that I should just close the shop and only do online sales while others have said that I should get a retail spot downtown Kennebunk. My dream is o open a shop that will look like Santa's Workshop as I love to create one of kind gifts that make people smile but sadly for three years I have been in a vicious cycle, locals do not like to shop at home businesses so I cannot buildup the funds to rent a retail space downtown.

Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.

                                                                      - Albert Einstein

This Spring the vicious cycle will come to an end, I will either find a retail space in another town as Kennebunk retail space is not affordable or I will close Karleen's Ideas shop and only do online sales unless this blog sparks locals to just stop by Karleen's Ideas to see all the beautiful items I have created. I am writing this blog to let locals understand what Karleen's Ideas is all about.

I started Karleen's Ideas a long time ago while we were still in RI, I started it with making Weighted Blankets for children with Autism & SPD. I wanted to help Autism families afford the sensory items their children desperately needed. Over the years I have been adding creations so when we found out that I could do home occupation, I jumped at the opportunity to work from. I thought that since Kennebunk is so big on supporting local businesses and farms it was a great way for me to have a shop and be home for my boys. Well hundreds of cars pass my house weekly yet only about 25 locals have stopped into my shop in three years, if I were to subtract friends then that number drops to 10. Many have said, "It doesn't look like there is a business" (Not allowed under Home Occupation guidelines)- I agree from the outside it does not look like a business, that is because I am not allowed to look like a business. But when you walk into my shop, it looks like a very cute small business with many, many unique creations at every price level. Everyone that has been Brave enough to come in the door loves my shop.

Karleen's Ideas has Jewelry, Shell Art, Christmas Stockings, Sewn Items, Sensory Items, Team Items, etc.....I also do a lot of custom orders so together we create the perfect gift.

At first Karleen's Ideas was so I  could work from home then my dream became that one day I would open a shop downtown for my boys to take over. Having three boys with Autism I worry about how they will be able to support themselves if they cannot or do not get a college degree. Karl & Donald have shown great interest is taking over our shop. Donald loves to sell, if you have seen us at a craft fair then you know he is quite the charmer. Karl loves to create, he takes after me in every way :)  Kyle shows some interest but he is still young so that could change.

If you are one of the many that have said, I always wanted to stop by but for one reason or another did not, now is the time as this may be the last year Karleen's Ideas is open.

 I will never give up trying to open a shop in a retail space but I cannot continue to hope locals will come into my shop at the house.

Karleen's Ideas is open - Monday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday & Saturday from 12 to 5 (I take two short breaks on weekdays to bring & pickup Donald from MSK, The breaks are from 1:45 to 2 and from 3:50 to 4:05)

Sensory Diets

I am asked all the time - What is a Sensory Diet?? So I thought I should just write a blog to help everyone understand why many children with Autism, SPD, APD &  ADHD benefit from a Sensory Diet.

A Sensory Diet is made up of schedule activities to help a child regulate throughout the day. Many children need sensory breaks every few hours, especially during the school day as it is hard for them to sit still all day long. Sensory Items like weighted lap pads, fidget toys, balance cushions, gum, chew tubes, oral vibrators, velcro, bungee cords, etc.. Activities that can be done to help a child regulate include jumping jacks, pushups against the wall, carrying paper to the office, jog in place, etc...

What sensory items or sensory activities you use will vary for each child, and will depend on whether a child is a sensory seeker, sensory avoider or both. Sometimes it takes a lot of trial and errors to find what will work best for your child, here are some ideas to help narrow down what a child may need.

Child  that chews on clothing, pencils and/or other nonfood items - Many times when a child chews on nonfood items they are looking for oral input, try the following items -  gum, chew tubes and/or an oral vibrators.

If a child cannot sit still, they need a sensory break of an activity like jumping jacks, pushups against a wall or carrying heavy items to the office.

A child the fidgets with his shoes to the point of wearing them in a short period of time - A bungee cord around the bottom of their child will give them a way to fidget with their feet but not ruin their shoes.

A child that needs tactile input will benefit from having velcro under their desk and/or having a fidget strip.

Weighted lap pads work best when used twice a day to help a child regulate, I usually suggest 10am and 2 pm. Also when a child is struggling with a certain subject.

If your child does not have a sensory diet in place, contact his/her OT and ask the OT to help you step one up before School starts up again. Many times when a child has a good sensory diet in place they come home from school calm, whereas without a sensory diet they want to literally bounce off furniture and walls.

In a few weeks I will be speaking about Sensory Diets & the Sensory Items I make in York Maine, feel free to send me a FB messages through my page Red on Autism if you would like more information or  have any questions.

Dear Playground Dad

Dear Playground Dad,

   The one that thought it was OK to tell my son he was too old to be on the tire swing.  I understand you feel I handle things wrong the other day, you think I was too loud & that I was rude. Here is what you don’t know, I used a LOT of self-control to stop myself from being a lot louder and stopped myself from making you feel about 2” tall because you sir had no right to tell my son that he was too old for the tire swing. You are lucky that I did not know what you had done when I first approached you.

  When I approached you I had just checked on Donald and saw that he was having fun with the other kids, something he has done for the past two years. He always plays, help and looks out for the younger kids on the playground while his brothers play T-Ball and there has never been an issue. As I walked back to watch my younger sons play ball I heard you say to your friends something like – “See the kid in the red cap with the sweatshirt…..look he is just waiting to get back on that swing…..I am going to talk to him.”  So I followed you and told you if you had a problem you were to speak to me. 

  Yes my son asked your son to get off the swing because your sons cleats were dangerous while your son was standing as he could have stepped on another child’s hand with those cleats. Later I explained to my son that he was not in charge of what happens at the playground and next time to seek out an adult for advice. You may feel my son was wrong but I do not as my son’s only intention was to protect the other kids.  

 You said that my son was spinning the tire too fast, I tried to explain that many times the kids ask him to do that but you did not want to hear what I was saying so I called my son off the playground. Was I talking loud to my son, yes because I know my son, he will feel like he did something wrong so I spoke louder trying to get him to understand that I was on his side before he had a meltdown over being pulled off the playground.

  See there is something you do not know – Donald has Autism, so he processes information differently than typical kids. Other things you do not know – Donald is homeschooled because his teachers had no interest in learning about his Autism. That Donald would much rather be at his own Baseball practice but he has been bullied out of Sports in Kennebunk. He would rather be at a friend’s house but he does not have many friends because kids do not understand his quirks.

   So Donald tries to make the best of the boring T-Ball games by playing on the playground, helping the younger kids and looking out for them. Now YOU have taken one more thing away from him because YOU feel 12 years old is too old to be on a tire swing. Well Sir, I am 45 years old and I had been on that very same tire swing with the kids so you see 12 is not too old and you Sir are NOT in charge of what MY children are allowed to do.

Next time – DO NOT approach the child, ask all the parents around you to see who the child’s parents are then ASK the child’s parents to help you figure out what is going on before you act.

When a haircut is more than a haircut!!

      Karl & Kyle have always had long hair but recently have been talking about cutting it short. They have talked about it in the past but usually change their mind the minute they are in the chair at the Barber Shop. A couple of weeks ago Donald got a buzz cut as he does every Spring so talks of short hair started again. Kyle stated he wanted a short haircut because everyone calls him a girl so I showed him pictures of famous men with long hair so he could see that men have long hair too. I also talked to him about making decisions based on his wants not what others say and that it is OK to be himself. He decided he would keep his hair long that is until Karl cut his short. Kyle loves his haircut :)

     For Karl, his hair has always be his security and a huge part of his identity so I was very nervous about letting him cut it short. He will turn 8 in August so I know I need to start letting him make decisions for himself as he needs to learn the consequences of decisions and how to cope with them. The minute the first strand of hair was cut I was crying inside as I knew this was a big mistake but I kept reassuring him that it was looking really cute. We all told him how proud we were of him and how handsome he looked and I thought things were good. Shortly after getting home he seemed a bit clingy but I just figured it has been a long week so he needed Mom time. Later we went to their baseball practice, he did not want to get out of the car, he was shaking and scared. I managed to get him to the field but he hid behind me for a while. Then they were to run the bases for which he loves to do so he reluctantly joined then his coach asked a question and Karl knew the answer which boosted his spirits. He played well the rest of practice so I thought all was good, just nerves of a new team.

     Then is was cuddle time and the following conversation takes place:

Karl - Is there a wishing star tonight?
Me - I don't know, why?
Karl - I want to wish my hair back
Me - What's wrong Peanut??
Karl - Nothing
Me - Do you like you haircut?
Karl - Yes
Me - Karl, it is OK if you do not like it.
Karl - It is?? Good because I do not like it, I want it long again.
Me - Karl I am very proud of you!! You have wanted to cut it short for a while and it is good to try new things now & then.
Karl - Big smiles with a 'Thank You Mom'

He seemed better before going to bed but has woken up very clingy and saying 'I want my long hair back.'   I just reassure him that it will grow back in time and to be patient. While my heart breaks for him seeing him upset and insecure, I know that it is a good life lesson for him as it will push him out of his comfort zone without the security of his hair. My hair appointment is today, I had been debating on going a lot shorter than I have in the past but had decided on keeping it long. That is until this morning, I will get my hair cut shorter and Karl & I will let our hair grow out together :) 


A BIG Thank You to Ed at Main Street Barber Shop in Kennebunk!!!!  Until Ed opened his shop I had cut Karl & Kyle's hair as they did not let others touch them. Ed has taken time to understand Autism, how to work with my boys and they trust him completely. I think he was just as nervous about their haircuts as I was as he knows how important their long hair has been. Ed was amazing with them yesterday by making them a part of the decision for length and talking them through the process. Kennebunk is very luck to have such a fabulous Barber Shop in town :)

         Here are before & after photos.

Cupcakes in School

    In my humble opinion schools should allow students to celebrate their Birthdays, Halloween, Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, Valentine's Day (not friendship day), St Patrick's Day and any other Holiday that is a part of the students life. While our family celebrates Christmas, I would love to see a Menorah and a Kwanzza Kinara right next to a Christmas Tree. Celebrating different Holidays teaches our children diversity.

    Cupcake & junk food bans are in the media again, many are either stating cupcakes should not be allowed because of students having allergies or because cupcakes are not healthy. I know many are not going to agree with me but cupcakes and other junk foods should be allowed in school, not just on special occasions but every day. Yes I am all for our kids eating junk food in school - insert your scream here ********************.  I am sure many of you have just cursed me to hell, that is fine, many have done it before and  many will do it in the future but do not stop reading as I will explain why I feel junk food should be allowed in school, I will break it down into two parts - Allergies & Healthy Eating.

   ALLERGIES

   My boys and I have Celiac Disease and cannot have gluten. For most people gluten makes them sick, some very sick, some like myself can barely walk the next morning because my joints are so swollen. Since Mike is only home 4 to 6 days a month, I need to be able to walk to take care of our three boys.  Our need to be gluten free is not taken seriously and many feel that we do not understand what it is like to have a 'real' allergy. My experience with food allergies and what food can do to a body goes way beyond having Celiac Disease.

   My medical history is long I could write about 4 eight hundred page books so I will keep this part as short as possible. At 11 weeks old I became very sick, Doctors could not find out what was wrong with me. Trying to figure out what was wrong Doctors removed all store bought formulas from my diet and I was only allowed to have a homemade meat based formula. As I grew up my Father told me - "it  looked like shit, smelled like shit and you poor kid, it must of tasted like shit."   To this day, the sight of gravy makes me gag. I am sure you are thinking that it is no big deal that they had to make a homemade formula and you are right. At first it was no big deal but then three years later I was still not allowed food. Through the first 3.5 years I was admitted into hospitals 57 times, this didn't count the times I went & stayed 12 hours in ER then sent home, my parents lost count of the ER visits. During those years I went through every test the doctors could think of and even lived in a plastic bubble for two months. At 3.5 years the Doctors in RI told my parents they could do no more for me. My Father talked with his connections from the East Providence Ambulance Company and made an appointment for me with Boston Children's Hospital. Two weeks later we had the appointment, Doctors there yelled at my parents for not telling them how bad I was. My parents responded "What?? Today is a 'good day' "  While at BCH they found that I had been born with Colitis, a disease that was thought to only affect adults. I was allowed food for the first time, of course when the nurse gave it to me and insisted I eat it, I threw it against the wall. See, my parents taught me to protect myself, they taught me that I was not allowed to eat unless my Doctor or parents said I could. I was taught that nurses & candy stripers might make a mistake. So I threw the food against the wall, boy was she mad, she started to yell when my Dad and the Doctor came in, they stopped her and praised me for knowing how to protect myself. I left the hospital two weeks later on a very strict diet.

   Fast forward to the present - I have three boys with Celiac Disease, I have brought them up to protect themselves and only to eat what is safe for them. I also do not ask their classmates or school to be gluten free because my son dietary needs should not be the burden to the rest of the school or the parents. I am very sensitive that some children have severe allergies and feel measures should be taken to keep the child safe but that does not mean all children needs to live allergen free. There are many ways to protect a child without having to alter the lives of the other 90 % of students in the schools.

HEALTHY EATING

   I am plum sick and tired of that fact that people want only healthy foods in school. Everyone keeps saying that by not allowing junk food in schools we are teaching kids how to eat healthy. NEWSFLASH - By not allowing junk food in schools you are teaching children to binge eat when given junk food. It is the same logic as to why most diets do not work, once the dieter does have a treat they overindulge. If parents and schools want to teach a child how to eat healthy than they should be teaching children to eat in moderation. How about allowing one item of junk food daily along with all the healthy foods.

  I am sure that if people saw my food cupboards they would think I am the worst Mother in the world because there is a LOT of junk food. Here is the thing, I taught them to eat in moderation. They eat a lot of fruits & veggies so I have no problem with them having junk food. For those of you that know my boys or seen their pictures, you know they are all thin, healthy and ACTIVE boys.

  Active, the key word to keep our children healthy. Too many kids today have IPads, video games, computers and other electronic items that do not allow the child to be active. Sadly the schools encourage less activity by giving children IPads, laptops and websites to learn. Maybe just maybe if the electronics were packed away a few times a week children would go outside to play, interact with their family and learn to make better decisions.

  Again, moderation is the key to success with most things. We need to teach our child that the occasional cupcake is OK to have, that electronics are only tools to help us not an appendage to their body and that most things in life are OK to have in moderation.

   As for allergies, yes it sucks to have a child with allergies but it is not fair to force every child to eat allergen free as there are to many allergens in the world. I hear all the time that 'needing to be gluten free is not deadly.'   That statement baffles me and I think 'since I will not die on the spot it is OK to make me sick'???  What many do not realize is that being Gluten Free is the hardest of all the allergens to deal with because it is not a solid. ONE crumb of your child's bread, cracker, cookie, cake or any other item can be brushed into my sons food and make my son very sick. The peanut butter in my sons sandwich IF I sent PB & J sandwiches (I don't)  would not jump out of his sandwich onto your sons food. My boys have been taught how to make sure they are not glutenized and they do not expect nor do I expect anyone to do it for them. Too many parents micromanage everything and the children are not learning how to be allergen safe on their own. No one wants your child to get sick, die, have hives or anything other reaction. But if you took fish, shellfish, all nuts, milk, egg, gluten, soy, and dairy out of the schools, what would be left??

   Those kids with allergies will be fine!!! Their parents can send in a special safe treat for them and they can learn the life lesson of "they are not going to have everything they want in life." They will not be scared for life because their cupcake was GF, sugar free, dye free, etc.... They will learn that life will go on around them even though they have an allergy. My boys with Celiac have no problems with not being able to eat the same food as their peers.

 

Homeschooling

Looks like we will be going on a new adventure - Homeschooling :)

We will be starting with Donald as I am tired of battling the school and have no trust in MSK anymore (There was an issue before vacation that caused mistrust). Karl & Kyle will remain in school until I see that Common Core is too much for them or that CC is enabling them to be too rigid. I talked with Donald last night, at first he had a meltdown, so we talked about the pros & cons about Homeschooling. With time Donald really started to like the idea of homeschooling. Before bed he gave me a Kiss & a Hug, he hasn't done that is a LONG time.  This morning he was much calmer than usual :)

  I am a bit nervous about homeschooling but feel it is really the best option. Common Core goes against EVERYTHING I have work for for my boys.

- I have worked so hard to teach the boys to be flexible and CC is NOT flexible.

- I teach the boys that everyone is allowed to have different strengths, CC expects everyone to learn the same and do the same.

- I worked very hard so Karl would be mainstreamed with his peers, CC will put him out of the class when he cannot do CC work.

- While I think Kyle could do very well with CC techniques, I am nervous that CC rigid techniques will encourage Kyle to always be rigid and rigid does not work in Society.

Many have never understood my techniques of how I raise my boys, MANY think I am too hard on them. Yes, I am very strict, I push them though their quirks, OCD behavior, I expect proper manners & behavior at all times, all things that EVERY parent should want from their child. What many may not see, is that I am loving, fair, we have a lot of fun and that my techniques are working :)

When parents hear the word Autism for the first time, many mourn what their plans were for their child. I did not mourn, I asked, "what can I do?"  My one goal for my boys (and Karissa) is to live a Happy Independent Life and everything I do is to teach them to be independent and teach them the basics in life. One thing I have learned over the years, 'Old School' works better with children with Autism. Plain wooden toys encouraged the boys to be creative, share and interact. Electronic games only encouraged them to be alone. Picture exchange gave Karl incentive to speak whereas electronics would have done the work for him and he would not have had a reason to talk. I have not found technology to help Karl, most of it would only enable him to let machines do the work for him and keep him by himself and I refuse to let either happen.

Donald has weak fine motor skills, for years the schools refused OT for handwriting and insisted keyboarding was the way to go. Donald is turning 13 in July, he cannot print, does not know cursive enough to do all the time and cannot type with 3.5 years of keyboarding. With Schools having kids do keynotes instead of reports Donald has no idea how to do a manual report and has to rely on his IPad to get his schoolwork completed. I won't even go into how I have seen work quality standards drop dramatically over the past 12 years.

I have been a Mom for 25 years, I have had children in school for 19 years. I have watch education change over the years and most of it is NOT good. School should not be this hard, yes the kids need to learn tough subjects and tests are hard but there should not be homework battles, parents should not have to micromanage every assignment or check websites daily to help keep their child on track.

The only good thing I have seen change over the years - Teachers understanding that all children may have different learning styles & that many Special Needs Children have been Mainstreamed with their peers. Common Core WILL remove all the good that has been established :(

Vacations

    It seems Karl now has an understanding about vacations as he has heard friends talk about going on vacation. He wants to go to Florida and seems to think it will only cost $100 per person to go, oh, I wish that is all it would cost. Vacations are not something Karl would know about as we do not take vacations, maybe a weekend trip to RI or something but that was only once in 3 years. We use to go to G&G's timeshare in NH but haven't done that since moving to Maine in 2010. Our last real vacation was to Florida in 2003, long before Karl & Kyle were born.

  Life is all about choices and we made the decision long ago that I would be home with the boys. We decided that it would be best to live with just the basics so I could work one on one with Karl after the therapists were done their therapy each day. It was the best decision we made as Karl has exceeded everyone's expectations and Kyle is  the 'Rock Star' of Early Intervention. So our decision was the right choice and all their accomplishments prove that daily :)

  All the boys are now in school full days, I am now a Work At Home Mom and balance work & home daily. Since Karleen's Ideas is still in the building years we still live with the just the basics and that is OK with us. We do not have an HDTV as we do not need one, our one game system is a few years old but works fine so there is not need to upgrade and we do not go on vacations. What is important to us is that I can volunteer at the schools, go on field trips and be available for the boys. While our decision was based on what is best for the boys, it was OUR decision, not theirs.

  So now Karl is asking why we can't afford to go on vacation and my heart fills with sadness. So I explain that taking a trip to Florida would probably cost us about $4,000 not the $500 he thought it would. Then I explain that we live on one income as I work at home. I explain to him that I could go get a job and work outside the house but that would mean that I would not be home as much, would not be able to help at school or go on field trips. He thought about what I said for a bit then looked at me and said "Stay home Mom, no work for you."  Then proceeds to explain that it was more important for me to help at school and for me to be home when he got home from school.

   Living in a world where daily I see kids getting everything they want, doing whatever they want and upgrading all their electronics every six months to a year, I am happy to say -

My sons know what is truly important and appreciate the small things in life :) 


 

White Potatoes Verses Purple Potatoes

    I love when I hear a typical parent complain their child is a picky eater. I laugh inside because they have no idea how easy they have it. Having one child with Autism can make dinner time the worst time of day. Having three boys with Autism has made me wish I could skip dinner some nights because there are times no matter what I cook, one of them will have a problem with it. Last night was one of those nights.

Back Story on food for my boys - Donald only wants white food and my Irish Twins hate white food.

   Yesterday I went to Hannafords to get some needed groceries and dinner items. I saw that pollock  was on sale but I was not sure how to cook it. Then I saw a recipe card for 'An Irish Pollock Dinner' and it was a GF recipe so I now had a recipe :)  All I needed to buy was leeks, potatoes and the Pollock. When I went to get the potatoes, I saw purple potatoes and thought, maybe Kyle will eat purple potatoes since he hates white potatoes. Fast forward to 3pm - I started cutting the leeks & potatoes and Donald started in about them being purple. I tried to explain that they taste the same but he already had it stuck in his head that he would not like them because they were purple. I reminded him that he likes purple tomatoes but his comeback was, "tomatoes are not white so trying purple tomatoes was OK to do. Later my Irish Twins came home and asked what smelled so good and Donald grunted. I turned to Donald and reminded him of the house rules, eat your dinner or go to bed. Then explained that he was welcome to go to bed before dinner if he planned on complaining the whole night. He quieted down and did his homework. A half hour later I served dinner - Kyle LOVED the purple potatoes, Karl was not sure about them at first but once he tried them he love them. Donald was a different story, he just sat there staring at them, I could  tell it was going to be a battle of wills. My Irish Twins finished, cleaned up and started their homework while Donald mumbled stared at the potatoes and complained that the fish did not taste right as he is use to cod or haddock.

   He was reminded of the dinner rule and 15 minutes after K&K finished I set the timer. He knows that once the timer goes off he has to be done or go to bed. At one point he said "Mom are you going to make this again?" I said "Are you going to eat your dinner?" He said "NO" to which I replied "Then yes I will make it again,  He mumbled and tried to make himself gag but in the end he ate his dinner.
   
  While last night was one of those night I wish I could skip dinner. I am glad I can say that  dinnertime is a lot better than it was years ago. Some may not agree with my technique but I am not needing to make 3 different dinners every night just so they eat and the complaining has gotten less and less as time goes on and in the end we all have to do what works for us and this technique works for us :)

 

Your Vote & The Price Your Neighbors Will Pay!!!!!!!!

      A couple of months ago was the first time I was given a flyer about the referendum. I took one look at it and instantly felt it was over the top in costs. While I agree the schools need repairs, upgrades and small expansions, this plan was too costly for our town. Since then RSU 21 families have been bombarded with information about the referendum, countless emails, postings on facebook, flyers, seeing display boards, mail and even handed a flyer at my sons parent teachers conference. In the last few weeks the discussions on facebook have increased a great deals and not in a good way. For a while I did not comment on anything knowing that no matter what I said or asked I would be attacked and told I was being negative as it has happened many times in the past. It is not that I am always negative, it is that many perceive my comments as negative as my comments do not conform to what the 'popular' crowd agrees with. As I said for a while a did not comment but I did do a lot of reading and then started doing some research. The more I read the more I felt my instinct to vote 'no' was the correct choice but felt I should get more information as I had a couple of questions. So I wrote a blog on my perspective of the referendum, commented and then asked questions. Of course I was met with opposition, most of which was civil but I could feel the tension. Because I felt the tension I asked  friends to ask questions for me so I would not be attacked. Sure enough their questions were met with answers minus the tension. So at one point during the thread I asked a couple of questions trying to clarify what others stated and was met with "Why be so negative about the sports Karleen?"  SO as long as someone else asks my questions, my questions are allowed. I really wish all the people that feel I am so negative would understand that my speaking up about wrongs that have been done is to help my children, their children and ALL children. Sorry but I WILL NOT conform to accept what is and will always strive for what is right and what our children deserve.

       MANY agree that the repairs need to be done and want them to be done. The problem is that the school board and committee made a very irresponsible decision by only putting one plan on the ballot. If the school board was really concerned about making sure the repairs got done with this referendum then they would have put two plans on the ballot. One plan that is only what is needed and another plan of what is needed and what is wanted. That would have been a fair way to let voters show how they want the repairs but cannot afford the wants.

   If my washer machine breaks, I go to the store to buy a new one, the sales person will always talk up the better model. At that point I will balance my budget  and make the decision on what I can afford and IF the extras are beneficial to me. The problem with having a community vote on this referendum is that those who feel their budget can handle the tax increase are also deciding on what their neighbors can afford without knowing what they neighbors budget. So basically the 'yes' voters are FORCING  their neighbors to take the tax increase, which is not fair for those on fixed incomes.  I have heard it said that the tax increase is only $1 a day. Way to downplay the fact that that $1 a day is $30 a month of groceries or 100 gallons of oil. By voting yes tomorrow, you will be forcing those on fixed incomes to go without food, heating oil, not be able to give the neighbors child a few bucks to shovel for him or worse force your neighbor to move out of our wonderful community.

    While I really want the repairs and necessary improvements, knowing that voting yes means my neighbors may go hungry, without heat, have a heart attack shoveling or be forced to move because of my vote means I will be voting 'NO.'

'Yes' voters how will you feel when you hear that your neighbor is going hungry, your neighbor is in the hospital with pneumonia because he/she could not afford that 100 gallons of oil, your neighbor had a heart attack because he shoveled after a snow storm or you start seeing 'For Sale' signs around town?? 

Can you really live with the consequences knowing that your neighbors paid the price for your 'yes' vote while you have a full stomach, are warm, healthy and have a home in Kennebunk to live in.

Karl's Day

January 16 it is Karl's Day in our house, since six years ago Karl saved our lives.  Karl normally slept thru the night, not even severe acid reflux woke him. On January 16, 2008 at 3:00 in the morning Karl woke up screaming, I tried to settle him down but he kept screaming. Since I was pregnant after a few minutes I had to go to the bathroom, after which I smelled oil really strong. I called my husband and he said to call the fire department. The fireman had me take the kids out of the house and put them in the car. They came in with a meter and the alarm went off, Carbon Monoxide was filling the house. Since Karl woke me early enough, there was no CM in our blood. They said if Karl hadn't woken us, we would have died that morning. So we have made January 16 Karl's Day since he is a hero.

I have been sharing this story for 6 years and now Karl is starting to share the story even though he does not understand it all. A few days ago he started to remind me that January 16 was Karl's day without anyone reminding him it was coming up.

Karl is a hero in so many ways, not only did he saved our lives that night but what he does everyday to come out of his shell, to overcome the limitations that Autism tries to put on him, makes him an incredible little boy, My Hero.

Need verses Want with ...

a side of 'can we afford the renovation plans.'  


   For those that do not know, there is a big vote coming up for renovations to two elementary schools and one high school here in Kennebunk. As we get closer the pressure to approve this plan gets stronger. I have been following a few threads on facebook posts and cannot believe the amount of pressure that is being put on people to vote yes. People getting told they have to see the schools to make an informed decision and posting pictures & videos of the schools. I find it interesting that all the pressure revolves around the conditions of the schools when everyone agrees the schools need repairs, upgrade & expansions. The problem lies in the cost of the proposed plan. Plain and simple, can our WHOLE community afford the plan, 'NO.'   One of the biggest problems in this country is debt, people buying what they cannot afford. This plan is a debt the community cannot afford because the renovation of the high school is too extravagant. From what I have read in some facebook posts school enrollment has gone down steadily over the past ten years and it is projected to continue going down. Add that people may have to move because they cannot afford the tax increase, we will be dealing with a cause and effect issue. People may have to move because they cannot afford the tax increase then local businesses may have to close because they have less customers. I know many are going to say that it will all work out and that we can all afford that extra $1 a day as some have put it. It may all work out and people may find the money to cover the tax increases but tax increases are not the only reason I will be voting no for the renovation plan.

  Before I explain the other reasons why I am voting no on the plan, I want people to know that I love Kennebunk Schools but the fact is that there are struggles in all school systems when you have a child with Autism. Sometimes those struggles are over simple services that if received at an early age means the child will need less services when they are older. For example, in fall of 2010 at Donald's 504 meeting I asked for Donald to get OT for handwriting as he was entering 4th grade and could not write. He was turned down for OT as they felt keyboarding was better for him to learn. Each year I asked for OT for handwriting but was turned down and he got extra keyboarding classes. This past fall I was told that they wanted Donald to use voice dictation as he still cannot type. I was livid about this because voice dictation would not change the fact that my son needs to learn how to write. After some debate it was approved that Donald would get OT to help him with cursive. Since during  4th, 5th & 6th grades Donald did not receive OT it will take longer for him to learn now.

   For Karl things have been different, Spring of 2012 I had to fight to keep Karl's Autism diagnosis. I was lead to believe that Karl's evaluations were to help mainstream him for 1st grade when the fact was that part of the evaluations were about his Autism Diagnosis. Comments were made at the meeting like "Karl shows no sign of Autism,"  of course he didn't, he was in a class of 7 with 3 teachers, it was not realistic, it was the perfect bubble. So the following Fall Karl was not prepared to be mainstreamed and his teacher had no idea how severe his Autism was. For a while Karl did well but by October he started to regress a lot. We had an emergency IEP meeting and created a plan to get him back on track. The following Spring I started to look around to see what would be available for Karl for the Summer as I knew he needed something to have continued Social interaction with his peers over the Summer to PREVENT regression for 2nd grade. From a School stand point he did not qualify for Extended School Year even though his teacher and school administrators agreed he needed something for continued social interaction. So I looked into Kennebunk Recreational Camp, the problem was that the 13:1 child to counselor ratio was not safe for Karl. The Rec program does not offer a 1:1 aid so I asked for a 4:1 ratio for Karl and other kids like him and was told "that is was not in the budget as they barely makes ends meet and if they did get more funds it would go to more field trip." Then the Town Manager stated in an email - " Students with disabilities are welcome but we need to ensure that there is not an undue burden for the program,........" I cried for a long time about that statement but then I gathered myself together, came up with a compromise and sent my plea to the Town Manager, School Superintendent, School Board & Town Councilman. Here is a link to that plea - http://redonautism.blogspot.com/2013/05/my-last-plea-to-town.html

  Karl having continued social interaction with his peers is very important for him. The more social interaction a child with Autism has the better his/her chances are of being independent as adults. I was hoping that the School Department & the Town could work together but I guess I was asking for the impossible. Since the Superintendent has a standard response of the ESY guidelines along with "A student's participation in the town's recreation program would not be considered part of the school's ESY services, nor is it part of the Free and Appropriate Public Education (FAPE) standards set forth in statute.  Participation is purely a family decision,...."  A family decision???  If it were up to me, Karl would having fun at the beach everyday with his family but that is not what Karl needed, he needed to be with his peers. Then the town manager responded saying that we had to hire a 1:1 aid in order for Karl to attend camp even though Mr Tibbetts has NO understanding about Autism. (side note - not one board member or councilman could take the time to respond to my email)  You can read more about it here - http://redonautism.blogspot.com/2013/07/its-tough-being-left-out-isnt-it.html

   I am happy to say that getting Karl into Toddle Inn was a big help as Karl has not regressed this year which proves that in order for him to be successful in school he needs continuous social interaction throughout the Summer. I am not sure what he will do next Summer, Toddle Inn is an option but Karl really wants to wear the Kennebunk Blue Camp shirt and hang out with his friends at camp.

    I could give other examples of what I have gone through to get my sons services, acceptance and to be included but that would take a LONG time so I will sum it up a bit. Everything I do for my boys is to prepare them to be independent as adults. For that to happen, they need to have certain services like ST, OT, Social Skills help, for me to teach them basic life skills like cooking, cleaning, self care, etc but the most important thing is that they need to be a part of a community. In some ways that are accepted by our community but in other ways they are not. While kids are polite to Donald at school, he does not have any friends outside of school. He didn't even feel comfortable enough to go on a school camping trip as he was afraid of a false sense of friendships. In the past couple of years he has been bullied out of  town rec basketball and town rec baseball programs. Add the fact that the town excluded Karl from camp makes me very nervous. What is worse is that so many sat back and allow it to happen then say I am too negative because I speak up. Sorry but change does not happen by people being bystanders.

  Now I am sure you are wondering what the above has to do with the vote, it has everything to do with the vote. If I and other parents are struggling to get basic services now, what is going to happen in the next few years??  While school enrollments may be down, those with Autism being enrolled in schools are up as 1 in 88 have Autism. Down the road more children with Autism will need services but the budgets will not be growing with the needs because tax payers were maxed out by this over the top renovation plan this year.

  It comes down to what is needed verses what is wanted with a side of 'can we afford the renovation plans."

This is how I see it, our schools need repairs, upgrades and expansions but many want the State of Art High School that the community CANNOT afford. My suggestion is that the school department comes up with an affordable proposal for what is NEEDED and WHEN the economy is better we can add in the extras.