When a haircut is more than a haircut!!

      Karl & Kyle have always had long hair but recently have been talking about cutting it short. They have talked about it in the past but usually change their mind the minute they are in the chair at the Barber Shop. A couple of weeks ago Donald got a buzz cut as he does every Spring so talks of short hair started again. Kyle stated he wanted a short haircut because everyone calls him a girl so I showed him pictures of famous men with long hair so he could see that men have long hair too. I also talked to him about making decisions based on his wants not what others say and that it is OK to be himself. He decided he would keep his hair long that is until Karl cut his short. Kyle loves his haircut :)

     For Karl, his hair has always be his security and a huge part of his identity so I was very nervous about letting him cut it short. He will turn 8 in August so I know I need to start letting him make decisions for himself as he needs to learn the consequences of decisions and how to cope with them. The minute the first strand of hair was cut I was crying inside as I knew this was a big mistake but I kept reassuring him that it was looking really cute. We all told him how proud we were of him and how handsome he looked and I thought things were good. Shortly after getting home he seemed a bit clingy but I just figured it has been a long week so he needed Mom time. Later we went to their baseball practice, he did not want to get out of the car, he was shaking and scared. I managed to get him to the field but he hid behind me for a while. Then they were to run the bases for which he loves to do so he reluctantly joined then his coach asked a question and Karl knew the answer which boosted his spirits. He played well the rest of practice so I thought all was good, just nerves of a new team.

     Then is was cuddle time and the following conversation takes place:

Karl - Is there a wishing star tonight?
Me - I don't know, why?
Karl - I want to wish my hair back
Me - What's wrong Peanut??
Karl - Nothing
Me - Do you like you haircut?
Karl - Yes
Me - Karl, it is OK if you do not like it.
Karl - It is?? Good because I do not like it, I want it long again.
Me - Karl I am very proud of you!! You have wanted to cut it short for a while and it is good to try new things now & then.
Karl - Big smiles with a 'Thank You Mom'

He seemed better before going to bed but has woken up very clingy and saying 'I want my long hair back.'   I just reassure him that it will grow back in time and to be patient. While my heart breaks for him seeing him upset and insecure, I know that it is a good life lesson for him as it will push him out of his comfort zone without the security of his hair. My hair appointment is today, I had been debating on going a lot shorter than I have in the past but had decided on keeping it long. That is until this morning, I will get my hair cut shorter and Karl & I will let our hair grow out together :) 


A BIG Thank You to Ed at Main Street Barber Shop in Kennebunk!!!!  Until Ed opened his shop I had cut Karl & Kyle's hair as they did not let others touch them. Ed has taken time to understand Autism, how to work with my boys and they trust him completely. I think he was just as nervous about their haircuts as I was as he knows how important their long hair has been. Ed was amazing with them yesterday by making them a part of the decision for length and talking them through the process. Kennebunk is very luck to have such a fabulous Barber Shop in town :)

         Here are before & after photos.