Monday, May 27, 2013

Chorus (original date 2/3/2013)

Tonight I am reminded why I work so hard for the Kennebunk Community to understand Autism. Last Summer my Karl almost died from a Peritonsillar Abscess and was traumatize from all that was done to him by Doctors and Nurses.  Then he was put through a sleep study followed by another surgery. With all Karl was put through he regressed about two years in Social Interaction. I have been working with his teachers to help him work through his issues.  One area he struggles with is Chorus rehearsals, he struggles with the transition of the end of school and start of chorus and has trouble sitting still but does fine with performances at Monday Morning meetings. I have been trying to help finding strategies to help Karl work through his struggles, on 1/23 his teacher and I came up with a reward system and explained it to Karl. What I did not know was the following Wednesday 1/30 would be his last chance. He did well going to Chorus but struggled during so the next night I received an email telling me he was dismissed from Chorus. While I understand rules need to be followed and friends can tell you I make my boys follow the rules. Something is unsettling Karl during rehearsal which is keeping him from sitting still. I could understand his dismissal if I was ignoring the issues or if Karl was out of control yelling and stuff. This is not the case, I have been trying to help and to me Karl's behavior is not malicious. Karl is walking around a bit, not sitting still and last week hid under coats crying. While this behavior is wrong, I do not feel it required dismissal on the first rehearsal since starting a reward system.
Since last Thursday I have emailed the teacher asking for Karl to have another chance. I have offered to aid Karl during rehearsal to help find out what is bothering him. Tonight I found out that Karl will not be given another chance. I was told "A pattern of "one more chance" has changed into too many chances and Karl being confused about what the commitment involves."  My feelings on that statement are that I was NEVER told Karl had 'one more chance' and that Karl does not understand 'one more chance'  with things like this because I work with him to figure out what is bothering him or distracting him and teach him how to work though it. I have been told that Karl can ask to rejoin at the end of February but I do not think I will let him join/rejoin 'optional' School Activities again. I cannot take the chance that  this will happen again when he struggles. He has Autism and will go through regressions for which I teach him to work through. I do not believe in a teacher or coach putting him out of Chorus or a sport without exhausting every option, have him come back only to be put out again when he struggles. This method is NOT how a child with Autism learns to work through things.
Knowing Karl is going to be very upset when I tell him that he can no longer sing at the Monday Morning meeting, I have emailed the school telling them he will most likely be staying home tomorrow. When we moved here 2.5 years ago Karl barely spoke, this time last year he was asked to join Chorus because he sang so well. He is so proud when he sings at Monday Morning meetings and now that has been taken from him.
Society needs to understand that taking away the one thing a child with Autism has pride in can devastate the child and cause more regression. I will not put him back into Chorus unless I know that his struggles will be handle on the methods of helping him and not punishing him for things he does not understand. I can only pray that this dismissal from Chorus does not cause him to lose interest in singing.

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