As we all know life is filled with choices, this is can be very hard
for the boys. For most of us picking out clothes for the day can is
just a pain in the ass type of thing but for Donald it is world ending
hard. He could just stare at his drawers for an hour and not be able to
pick out clothes because there is too many choices for him. On laundry
day I have to match up tops and bottoms for him so it relieves half of
the burden. There are times when there is only two pairs of PJ's in the
drawer and it still takes him a long time to pick a pair. This can be
very frustrating for not only him but for the whole family. He tends to
delay us for activities because he can't decide on something. Now that
he is taking Prozac he is better on some tasks.
Karl
& Kyle are very close in their level of understanding so they are in
the process of learning about choices. K&K tend to say "no" when
asked to do something so I don't not let "no" be an answer. It would be
more like "Karl would you like to clean your mess or go to bed". There
is a little banter back and forth but he will usually want to do the
task asked of him. Although there are many times he will choose bed when
it comes to eating dinner and that is fine because I don't like to
argue about dinner. So it is plain and simple "eat or go to bed". Kyle
had his first choice the other day and all he could say was "no" to all.
It was about getting dressed, he refused to dress and if I put his
shirt on, he would take it off. So I put him to bed, he got up and stood
at his door screaming to get out. So I gave him a choice "put the shirt
on or go to bed" , he put his shirt on right away. I took him
downstairs to finish dressing and he refused to put his pants on. So I
gave him a choice put the pants on or go to bed, he thought for a minute
and let me put his pants on then shoes & socks.
Giving them choices can take double or triple the time but I feel it is
a very important step for the boys to learn consequences. Consequences
is something I feel a lot of kids don't understand these days. They are
not held accountable for the bad choices and/or actions so things like
bullying are on the rise. Cyber bullying recently caused a girl in a
nearby state to commit suicide because she could not handle it anymore. I
am one Mom that will do my best to make sure my boys understand
consequences and learned to make the right choices. I demand respect,
manners and proper behavior at all times. Some may think this may be a
little hard for boys on the spectrum but I really feel that the clear
boundaries I set for them help them. If I were not so strict it could be
confusing for them and would send the wrong message to them. Being very
strict with them is part of the reason I can take them almost
everywhere with the proper planning.
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