Last night I talked with a small group at a local church. One gentlemen has a 70 year old sister with Autism. Back in the day his Mother tried her best to believe there was more she could do but there was not support for parents back then and there came a time that she could not help and she had to put her daughter in an institution. I am sure that was the hardest decision in the world. But I can understand it as we can only do so much on our own and with only one source of help, parents didn't really have a choice.
When I spoke about how many still having the "shh we don't talk about that" attitude towards Autism, he remembered it being like that when he was young. Donald & I explained how we are open about Autism with everyone and how it has made such a difference with other kids. I explained how much Karl speaking at his school last year he helped Karl find his voice. He said he can see that life is so much better when people talk about it and be open about it. They loved that Donald is so confident about who he is :)
We talked about how Sensory Items and weight help children/adults regulate and they all tried a small weighted blanket & the weighted shawl and liked it. They were surprised to feel an instant comfort from the weight. Which helps prove my theory that many typical people can benefit from weighted blankets too. We talked about how Sensory Diets help children with Autism, ADD, ADHD, SPD and APD in school and at home. I explained how using different activities & tools throughout the day helps a child regulate and relax so they can learn more and that when the Sensory Diet is followed correctly a child can come home calm instead bouncing off the walls.
I spoke briefly about how I do not say "he cannot do that because he has Autism." I would say things like "we are working on that," we haven't taught him that yet," or "that is his next goal." I explained that I have found with the boys having a "can do" attitude teaches them that they can do what they want as long as they work for it. The gentleman explained that he remembered how his Mother would not let his sister near a hot stove or let her do some things because of safety reasons which is understandable. Then with her living in an institution for a long time there was no access for his sister to have independence. Things changed when she went to live in a group home, during one of his visits to her at the group home, a worker asked him if he would like some tea, he said yes. Then the worker looked at his sister and asked her to make the tea. He was so proud to watch her be able to do it all on her own. Now with direction she can take care of herself and she was working until a few years ago when she retired. She loves to manipulate things with her fingers so I suggested he get her clay to play with :)
While 70 years ago parents and doctors did not understand Autism I am glad to see that his sister was able to move out of the institution and into a group home where her restrictions were lifted and she was allowed to show how smart she is and that she is able to be herself. All too often children/adults with Autism have their abilities are underestimated. I think that while yes we have to be realistic we have to also have the attitude 'the sky is the limit' for our kids. So maybe they only get to see the top of hill instead of the top of a mountain, the point is they did not give up before trying. Always have small goal that lead to a large goal as accomplishing those small goals will build up confidence for your child to keep trying new things :)
I hope I get the chance to do more these talks as last night was not only about how I can help others understand Autism, it was also about how I can learn from others which will help me help others in the future :)
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