Autism Advice

           In many ways I wish I could avoid April, partly because I become a year older but mostly because it is Autism Awareness Month. I am all for Autism Awareness but some of the awareness is very damaging to Autistics.

            I have been a Mom for 29 years, am I perfect, Hell No!!!  Do I know everything, again Hell No!!!  But as of yesterday I am 49 years old, so I do know a few things about raising children. Having raised a child without IPads, Android phones & very limited internet access and currently raising children with access to all those electronics, I can say parenting without electronics was so much easier!!! Many say that when it comes to Autism, one must think out of the box, well for me there is no box!! Now you might think that this blog is going to tell you that you should do what I suggest, well it is not. This blog is about the importance of knowing who you are taking advice from. 

         Why I want to help children - Ever since I was a little girl, I wanted to help other children. My dad use to tell me stories about how I would help kids that were sicker than I was while I was in the hospital. Having been admitted to the Hospital 57 times before I turned 3 1/2, I helped a lot of children. I have always been in tune with what children need. My younger sister was non-verbal for a while, she would tug on my shirt and I knew exactly what she needed without her saying a word. I now know that my speaking for her may have been why it took Doctors so long to find out that she was half deaf in her left ear. Luckily, they found out what was wrong, with time and speech therapy she got on track. That life lesson, my love for helping children, the story of Helen Keller and my intuition is what drives my approach to raising 3 sons with Autism. Because of my anxiety, OCD and SPD, I have thought many times that I may be on the Spectrum too but I am not, as Sheldon from BBT would say, 'I was tested for that.....' My anxiety, OCD, SPD and severe insecurities come from mental abuse (from my Mother), isolation (Hospital, once I lived in a plastic bubble for two months) and from the fact that the one person who believed in me died the day I graduated from High School. So there are many life experiences I can draw on to help me help my sons. Things like, I know that avoiding triggers only enable a person. I wish I had more time with my Dad so he could have continued to help push me out of my comfort zone. He tried so hard to pick me up when I my Mom would crush my spirits but when he died, so did my free spirit. I use to be a girl that wore purple eye shadow even though everyone said it looked bad, I loved it and didn't care what others thought. After he died, I got screamed at for the smallest of things, everything I did was wrong and I was worthless, so I became a wallflower, even today I feel worthless. So while I do not have Autism, I have a great deal of life experience of being told to conform. My techniques are not about my sons conforming, it is about them surviving in a harsh world and for them to be independent adults.  While I am not the 'Free Spirit' I was before my Dad died, I still cannot conform to what everyone wants me to do, I have tried but I have to speak up when wrongs are being done. I am the town outcast because I speak up too much. I speak for not only my children, I speak up for all children that need a voice and no matter how lonely it can be, I will always speak up because it is the right thing to do.

       Enough about my experience and why I do what I do to help kids. Autism advice is tricky, each child is different, everyone has an opinion on cause, approaches, techniques, vocabulary, etc......My advice about Autism Advice - 1) Pick your goals for your child, or if they are old enough, what are their goals in life. 2) Are you hoping for your child to be independent or that you will be their guardian. This one can be hard, some child may not be able to be independent but that does not mean it cannot be a goal even if you know partial independence is all there will be. I always pushed my sons 10 steps past each goal set by therapists. 3) Know who you are getting advice from!!!! There are things you have to look at in a persons advice. If a person is giving advice to avoid triggers and they are someone who as an Autistic Adult still avoids their triggers, that tells you that avoiding triggers does not change anything. The other end - An Autism Mom may give advice about how to slowly help your child overcome that trigger with tools & techniques AND can give you examples of how it helped her children. Two bits of advice that are total opposites!!! The only way to know which advice you should take is by knowing what the goals are for your child. Do you want your child to always have to avoid the rain because he has an extreme OCD about rain getting him wet or do you want your son to be able to go for a walk with light rain showers? I know this one all too well. When Kyle was two, if a drop of rain touched his skin, he would scream for 20 to 30 minutes, you would have thought it was acid that touched him he scream so loud. Now at 9yo he can walk in light rain and not have a problem and hopefully as he gets older he will get easier for him with heavier rain.

         Both bits of advice comes from a different perspective and while I do not support avoiding, I will not bash a person for their perspective. Sadly many do not respect my perspective, I tend to be called nasty names and get comments like "I feel so sorry that your boys have you as a Mom."  That one came from my advice to put extreme limits video games because children with Autism will use those games to avoid social interaction. If you know me, you know that I am firmly against children using computers, IPads and video games as they are creating a huge Social gap for ALL children. Yes computers have a place for learning but they are being used too much in school and at home. The Doctors, research and studies back me up this one. Above I used the 'avoid' example because I have seen a bad trend of Autistic adults giving this advice. While I would love to say that because they have Autism they are experts but that is not always the case. See there are many that did not find out that they have Autism until they were adults. Why is this information important?? Because they will tell you that their parents pushed them and that pushing caused a great them a great deal of stress. While I feel bad that their parents did not use the right approach, that does not mean that all parents who push their children out of their comfort zone are doing it wrong. The difference between me and that persons parents is that I know my sons have Autism and their parents didn't. Temple Grandin talks a lot about parenting needing to push their children more. While I have not had a chance to read her new book The Loving Push, I hear it is great! Temple Grandin is an adult with Autism that I would listen to!!  I have a feeling her Mother and I may have a lot in common!! This is why knowing how a person came to their perspective is very important to know what advice to listen to. 

        Now rule 4 is the most important - Stop bashing one another!!  Having a debate over a difference of opinions is fine but no name calling!!  The Autism Community is too divided!! For example I am sure some are going to be yelling that I used 'Autistics' in my sentences and then others are going to be yelling because I said 'sons with Autism.'  The argument is petty and it distracts everyone from what is really important. Which word or phrase I use all depends on how I form the sentence and which makes more sense. Just to cover my basis and everyone knows that I am not offending my sons - My sons also use both 'I am Autistic' and 'I have Autism.'

#Embrace Autism

Fidget Spinners

      Spinners are very popular right now and there is quite the controversy about them. Schools are banning them as they are disrupting class, parents insisting their children 'need' them for Autism and ADHD. Well here is my take on Spinners.

      As many of you know, our shop Karleen's Ideas started with making weighted blankets, lap pads, vest and other Sensory Items to help Special Needs children. We have grown over the years to include other Sewn Items, Jewelry, Wall Art, Shell Art and Sensory, Therapy & Social Toys. We have a great selection of Fidgets - Spinners, Cubes, Bracelets, Rings, Tangles, Chew Tubes, Pencils, Balls, etc....all great for fidgeting. The key is to know what item works best for different senarios, whether the child is at home, school, a baseball game, etc.....different fidgets may work better in different places. For example a child may like using a chewy tube at home but a chewy pencil topper may work better at school.

    Having 3 sons with Autism, I understand that the schools need to understand our children need to fidget. But we as parents need to understand that typical child have a right to an education without being distracted. My children's right to fidget does not trump a typical child's right to an education. This is where Special Needs Parents need to pick and choose our battles. Yes our children should have the right to fidget but our children do not have the right to disrupt class. Now if spinners were the only fidget available, then my views would be different but spinners are not the only fidget available. Hell when Donald was in elementary school his only fidget was velcro under his desk and a bungee cord on his chair and it worked. Parents should be thankful we have so many more options now and many of them do not disrupt the class.

   My point is, appreciate that we have more options and choose a fidget that does not disrupt other children. I agree with the schools, spinners should not be allowed in class!! With that said they should be allowed at recess. I have seen many comments from Special Needs Parents saying "typical kids should not be allowed to use them"........."It is not fair that they are sold as toys"........."why do regular kids have to ruin it for our kids".... and other things like that. Seriously??? They are sold as toys because they are a toy, a fidget toy yes, but still a toy. I think it is great that there is a toy that ALL children like and that is bringing kids together. The child that stays alone at recess may now have kids talking to him/her about spinners, showing each other tricks, trading and having fun. Spinners could be a great opener for future friendships!!! 

    The attitude of 'us verses them' has to stop!!!!   To the parents who want to insist their child can use a fidget spinner even though it distracts the class, you are setting your child apart from the class. We need to find the middle ground to help our children and not promote separation. Fidget cubes are a great middle ground, they can fidget and not distract the other kids.  Demanding your child can use one will only make it harder to fit in. We all need to work to bring our children together not serarate them!!

 

Rocktopia

Last night was the most amazing experience for our Donald!!!  He sang in the Choir for Rocktopia, we are so proud of him for all that he has achieved. During the concert Karl struggled with being overstimulated by the loud music and lights. At one point during the concert, I looked at Karl & Kyle next to me and Donald on stage and realized that I was dealing with all stages of anxiety from Autism all at once and figured it would make a good blog.

On different online forums, we all see posts, questions and memes about Autism. When I see questions about a topic that I have helped the boys with, I comment. Lately I have been getting bashed by other Autism Parents and adults with Autism. Many stating that I have no idea what Autism and or SPD is, that I should be more understanding, go easier on the boys and allow them to live in their own world. Karl saw the comment about living in their own world and said "I live in the real world and my own world when needed."  He is 10 years old and realizes that he needs to be able to cope with living in the real world and he is glad that I try to help other parents with my techniques. I am sorry but way too often I hear, "my child cannot do .... because he/she has Autism."  It breaks my heart to hear that as I heard my boys wouldn't be able to do many things and they are doing them because I kept trying new techniques to help them cope. I know not every technique will help every child, the key is to never stop trying new techniques.

Back to Rocktopia - A few weeks ago, Donald got a message about being in a choir for an upcoming concert. All he needed to hear was that it consisted of Classical and Classical Rock, he was hooked. After the first rehearsal I asked, on a scale of 1 to 10, how excited are you? He said "Mom the scale is broken, this is going to be so lit."   This was quite different from the Donald I knew 7 years ago!!!!  Seven years ago when we lived in RI, Donald's Chorus group sang the National Anthem for a Providence Bruins game. After they sang we were in the stands watching the game, watching Donald try to be excited and deal with the noise made for a very interesting game. I have a video of him clapping, covering his ears with his hands, then clapping, then covering, etc.... We watch that video now and all we can do is laugh. Pushing Donald out of his comfort zone with my techniques over the years took Donald from covering his ears to singing on stage with an orchestra right in front of him, lights everywhere, loud rock music, cheering crowds, etc..... all the while he is handling it all without issue. He is on cloud one thousand today from the amazing experience :)  I wish I knew a stronger word for proud!!!!

Now while I am tearing up with tears of pride watching Donald on stage, I am also holding Karl who is struggling. The day before the concert Karl was adamant that he was not going to the concert. He had every reason lined up, he yelled at me that there was no way he would attend and he begged me to let him stay home. While there was a large part of me that wanted to protect him and let him stay home, a larger part knew that I had to help him work through his fears and anxiety to experience something amazing. I talked with Karl about his worries and how I would be there to help him work through them, so he agreed to go. Last night we had to bring Donald dinner and clothes, the boys and I had an extremely long wait for the concert to begin, then there were technical issues which delayed entry. Luckily Karl carrying a backpack that weighed over ten pounds helped him regulate. After we were allowed to enter, we went to our seats, let the boys look around, then walked around the hallways for a bit to walk off some pent up energy. We planned our seats so we were on the aisle and the wall was behind us so he didn't have to worry about being in the middle of the crowd.

Then the concert began and Karl shut down emotionally. He had a blank stare, I got his attention and signed "are you OK?" he said "No."  I pulled out the ten pound family lap pad and the thick earmuffs. He got better for a bit. Then he put his head in his lap and was crying, the lights were hurting him. At first he used the lap pad to block the lights, then he used the earmuffs. I knew he wanted to leave, I wanted to give in but felt this was too important, that we had to stay. I held him and he would squeeze my hand when it was too much. Slowly he started to take interest in the music. During intermission, I went against my norm and allowed him to play Candy Crush to relax. We talked about how he had been feeling and that it was worth trying to get through the second half of the concert and he agreed.

Well during the second half, he was a different child. He was watching more of the concert, singing and then playing an air guitar, rocking out to the music. My heart leaped with joy, had tears of happiness but most of all he was having fun. After the concert Karl and I talked about how he felt during the first half and  he said he was glad we stayed. This morning I asked him if he would go to another Rocktopia concert and with excitement in his eyes and voice he yelled "YES." 

While I was helping Karl cope, Mike was with Kyle. By the time Kyle was born, I had learned a lot about Autism and had started creating techniques to help Karl and Donald cope with Autism, OCD, ODD and SPD issues. This allowed me to apply those techniques very early with Kyle which means he has less issues at the age of eight then Karl and Donald did. Before the concert Kyle did have a temper from his anxiety but was excited about the concert so he pushed through. Kyle did not have any anxiety during the concert. He loved the concert!!! After he was oversensitive and had a meltdown from being tired but things quickly got better with Mom cuddle time :)

It is so easy to sit behind a computer and accuse someone of being mean, not understanding Autism, that they don't get Sensory Processing Disorder because you feel their techniques will not work. But when that parent says it has helped her three sons with Autism overcome many obstacles maybe, just maybe she knows what she is doing and maybe she can help you and your child. I would have loved for someone to post techniques that help. Sadly all to often posts and blogs are only about how hard it is to raise a child with Autism, reasons why meltdowns should be allowed, why their child cannot do a task, etc... when there are ways to help. If you feel something won't help your child, fine but there is no need to bash someone when it helps their child and many others.

I am hoping that after reading this blog you can understand that there are ways to help children with Autism cope in the real world. That keeping them home in fear of what might happen only enables them to not try new things. Our children need to try new things, experience events, go to the store, go swimming in the ocean, discover their own interests and most of all LIVE.

Every child with Autism should have the chance to go from covering their ears in a crowd to singing on stage at a Rocktopia concert.

Thank You to Camille & Ann for inviting Donald to be in the Choir!!!

A Heart filled Thank You to Rocktopia for bringing your amazing talents to Maine, allowing my boys to have the most unforgettable first concert experience.

If Rocktopia is coming to your area, I highly recommend you go, it is the most Amazing Concert11!

The Hate Needs to Stop!!

         As a Mom I have worried about my children but I did not lived in fear,  as an Autism Mom, I worry and have a few fears, well that all changes this afternoon when Mr. Trump is sworn in. For the first time since I heard the word Autism 11 years ago, I have great fear for my sons future, for their freedom, education and protection from others. I have seen so much hate with this election, it scares me. BTW it is on both sides, not just one side.

        While part if me wants to posts all of Trump's shortfalls to try to get others to understand why everyone needs to be concerned, I won't because it won't help. All the posts do is promote arguments, name calling and hate. While there have been times I was able to have healthy debates with Trump supporters as I tried to understand why they felt Trump was a good choice. Please note, I did try to understand, I searched, and searched trying to find one good plan of his that would give me a bit of hope that he will be a good President. Sadly most of my debates turned nasty from the other side, I was called things I would never even call my worst enemy. The worst part of that was some that I thought were my friends allowed it to happen. I am all for a healthy debate but the hate was too much for me.

        The hate in this country is what is destroying America, THE HATE NEEDS TO STOP!!!

      For 8 years I have watched many blame Obama for everything wrong in their life. It feels like America saw two different President Obama. For a long time I have been wondering how is it, so many see him so differently. Last night looking at many different post comments about the Obama's leaving the white house, it came to me. Most people see what they want to see, they understand their single view of the topic and refuse to acknowledge other possibilities. Not many have the ability to look at both sides and see the bigger picture. Maybe it is because of my upbringing, being so sick, having to be wallflower, and by being a survivor, I have a very different perspective on life, my views on topics are out of the box, hell most of the time I destroy the box. One of the big topics Trump supporters keep stating it is Obama's fault that there are so many mass shootings nowadays. I have read many arguments on this topic and read many reasons why everyone thinks it is Obama's fault and it seems many miss the fact that Obama was not holding the gun, therefore it is not his fault.

        America also needs to face the fact that one person is not responsible for another's choice. I grew up in a house with parents that were prejudice towards others. Does that mean that I grew up being prejudice?  Hell no, I grew up the direct opposite. I spent most of the first 4 years of my life in a hospital, I am a survivor of every form of abuse, I was molested by 2 different people for years before I was 8 and I was raped by a boyfriend at 17, do I blame my shortfalls on them, no. Do I blame them for things that go wrong in my life, no. It happened, it sucked and yes it is still hard to overcome some of the shit I went though but I do my best to be a good person. While my experiences left me with a lot of insecurities, it also left me with a very different perspective of life. I look for the best in life, I find the silver lining to the clouds, I own who I am and what I have done and do not blame anyone or anything for my decisions. Now what could be the silver lining of my childhood hell??  Easy, my perspective on life has helped me help my children. The roadblocks of so many illnesses have helped me realize that the diagnosis of Autism does not limit my sons future, it does not define who they are or that no matter what, they can and will be independent. No President, friend, foe or even my parents created who I am today. I created me by the choices I made in life, I am the one that is accountable for my actions, not the President, not my parents, me. I think that is something Society needs to understand, no one makes the choice for you, you make your own choices. In high school I drank, I drank a lot to try and hide from the hate and abuse form my mother. I was making a bad choice, many would say it was her fault, that telling me daily how ugly I was and how she hated me and wished she had aborted me would be a good reason to drink, but it wasn't. Then one day I was so depressed I drank a bottle of vodka in an hour, passed out and couldn't remember a thing the next day. After the hangover, I thought about how I felt, I knew I could not continue down that path so I made the decision that I would not drink when I am depressed. It can be hard at times but for the most part I have kept to that decision. Have I slipped up a couple of times? Yes I am human and I make mistakes but I hold myself accountable. Who I am today was not decided by the actions of others, it was because of the choices I have made, some good, some bad but in the end, I do not blame others, I just do the best I can to be a good person and to help others.
      

         So to all those that want to blame Obama for mass shootings, stop!  Put the blame where it belongs, the person holding the gun. They made the wrong choice and deserve to be punished for it. But you blaming Obama for what the shooter has done, is you making the choice to spread hate for Mr. Obama when Mr. Obama didn't even know the shooter. And you and others spreading hate for Mr. Obama is not resolving or proving anything, it is just creating more hate, so STOP!

       Soon Mr. Trump will become my President, while my stomach is twisted with stress about it, I will not bash him, I will not put him down because I want the hate to stop. For everyone that does not support Mr. Trump, please do not act as many did towards Mr. Obama. No matter who is President, it is up to every individual to make the a decision - Do you want the hate to continue or do you want it to stop?  If you see a post that upsets, you have three choices, spread hate, ignore it or look into how you can help those affected by the post.  No ones controls your response but you!!  I for one will be ignoring or finding ways to help, but if I do see hateful comments I may reply with -

#TheHateNeedsToStop

Numb with Nerves

   I could barely sleep last night worrying about the election results. Mike kept telling me not to worry but my gut was telling me something very different. Then around 6am I looked at my phone and my nightmare was true, Donald Trump was elected President. So many things went through my head, wondering how we are going to tell the boys, how we will assure them everything will be OK and how I will do it while keeping my emotions in check.

   You may be wondering why our boys would be so affected by the election results, well our boys are not your average children. Growing up with Autism has given them a different perspective on life, just as my childhood gave me a different perspective on life. The boys have been watching and learning during this election, some has been good, some bad and some very bad. Early on in the election, the boys did not like Trump, they had a bad feeling about him. While we did try to keep a lot of the bad stuff away from the boys, they did hear some things from Trump videos. Each time, they would be very upset with his words. They would say he is mean, that he should respect woman and that he is a bully. My boys know what a bully looks like as they have had to deal with them, just like every woman survivor knows Trump is an abuser as we have dealt with them. Mike and I have raised the boys to respect woman and to treat them right, so we were proud that they knew Trump's behavior was wrong. What concerned us was that Trump supporters didn't.

      When the boys got up this morning, we told them. Donald didn't believe us and K&K were upset. Karl cried, he said, "all my wishes and prayers were wasted."  My heart broke as I asked him what he meant. He said "every 11:11 he wished Trump would lose and he prayed to God that he would lose."  He asked to stay home, then Kyle asked to stay home also, we said they could. We turned on the cartoon Skylanders for a couple of episodes to let them relax for a bit. Then we asked them what their fears were. Kyle didn't really have any fears but did not like that Trump won. Karl worried about the wall, Trump being mean but he mostly feared what will happen to therapies for children. See Karl understands how much his Early Intervention helped him, he understands how important therapy is and he fears that since Trump mocks people with Special Needs that he will not want to help them like Hillary wanted to help. At age 10 Karl is so wise, he has the ability to see the bigger picture even when he doesn't understand it all, he takes after me like that. This ability can be a blessing and a curse, it gives us the ability to see both sides of situations but it also shows us how things can go horribly wrong, luckily it also gives us time to prepare. Knowing that Karl was feeling the same feelings I had been feeling, I explained to the boys that everything would be OK. I explained that I had the same fears as Karl, that the support for children with Autism would be decreased and that Autism acceptance may get harder but not to worry. I explained to them that our shop opened just in time to help families, I reminded them that all the toys we sell are Sensory, Therapy and Social based and that we can teach parents how to help their children like we helped our boys.  We also talked about how as a family we have overcome many obstacles and that we will continue to do so.

   Then we turned our talk to respecting Mr. Trump. We talked about the fact that while we like  President Obama, there are many that did not approve of him and bashed him every chance they could. Mike and I explained to the boys that there will not be any Trump bashing in our house and that we will respect Mr. Trump as our President even if we do not agree with him or his actions. We explained that no matter what we would protect the boys, that I may have to become a more vocal Autism Activist and that together we can do anything. We talked about how we can do our part to make America great again by being good to others.

   Now for my message to America - No President can make America great again!!!!!! Only Americans can make America great!!!!

Ways to do that are:

Stop bashing others!
Stop putting other down!
Stop judging!
Stop assuming!
Let people have their own opinion!
Be supportive!
Be Caring!
Be understanding!
Accept Difference!
Shop Local!
Look for the positive!
Get off your computer more!
Be friends in real life, not just online!
Stop complaining and start living!

I could go on and on but I think you get the idea;)

                                                               Embrace Autism

More than a Gift Shop

                My shop sign says Karleen’s Ideas ‘Gift Shop’ but Karleen’s Ideas is so much more than a gift shop.  I have combined my love for children & my love for creating to help Special Needs families and to make unique gifts for everyone.  

                My parents told me that even when I was sick in the hospital I always wanted to play & help the other children in the hospital, I am happy to say that I never outgrew wanting to help others. Now 43 years later God has blessed me with 4 amazing children even though Doctors thought that would be impossible. My daughter is typical, well as typical as any child can be, LOL and our 3 sons have Autism. From the moment Dr. Singer said that Donald should be tested for Autism, I have been eager to learn the best ways to help him and then his brothers. About 8 years ago Donald’s OT asked me if I could try to make a weighted blanket at reasonable prices as she knew I could sew. I looked at some examples of weighted blankets and did a lot of research before I designed my weighted blankets. Over the years I have tweaked my technique but one thing that has not changed is that they are made with love. While there are many companies that are making millions selling weighted blankets, I am not making those millions as I am not making them to get rich, I am making them to help children. Shortly after I started making weighted blankets, I created pressure tubes, weighted lap pads, weighted shawls, sensory bags, sensory blankets and fidget strips. I will not have a large number of items in stock as most items are custom made for the child/adult that needs them. I believe it is more important to make a weighted blanket to what a person likes and what their interests are instead of them just getting what is in stock.  I work with parents to create the perfect weighted blanket or sensory item for each child.

                Years later to help bring awareness to Autism and other diseases, I started to make awareness bracelets. I found making jewelry relaxing so I started to created theme jewelry, then I found myself just looking for unique beads to make other styles of jewelry, lots of jewelry so much jewelry I opened Karleen’s Ideas at our house on December 11, 2011. Wanting to fill the porch with more items, I started creating items with the fabric scraps from the weighted blankets. I started making fabric gift bags, hats, neck warmers, Christmas Stockings, etc…. Now almost 4 ½ years later Karleen’s Ideas outgrew my porch so we have moved the shop to a retail space in Kennebunkport. Over the past few weeks I have painted walls, built cube organizers, arranged displays and setup all the merchandise. I am so happy to have the shop out of the house as I can now carry more Sensory Items & carry Therapy Toys to help more children and parents.

                As I said Karleen’s Ideas is more than a Gift Shop, at Karleen’s Ideas you will find many Shell Crafts, Jewelry, Christmas Stockings, Hats, Neck Warmers, Dream Catchers, Wind Chimes, Awareness Items, Sensory items and Therapy Toys. You will also find me ready to help you find or design the perfect gift for your loved one, help you find the perfect sensory item, help you create a sensory diet for your child or yourself and to help you understand your sensory based child. In the near future I will be having workshops to help parents. It was always a dream of mine to have my own store, Karleen’s Ideas is not only my dream come true, it is a future for my sons. Adults with Autism have a difficult time keeping a typical job so there will be times you will see the boys working at the shop so they can learn how to run a business. Working at the shop will also help them with social situations, they will learn to be independent, learn to work together and learn how to help others.

                So when you need a special gift, a weighted blanket, sensory item or therapy toys, I hope you stop by Karleen’s Ideas.

      Grand Opening is April 1st as it is the perfect way to start Autism Awareness Month.

Karleen's Ideas

24 Ocean Ave.

Kennebunkport

                                                            

Small Breakthrough

     Karl struggles with understanding what the right choice is most of the time. Many times he makes the wrong decision because he is confused about what is right and what is wrong.  While I do my best to teach him right from wrong, it is hard for him to understand as he sees his peers break the rules, at times peers have played tricks on him by telling him to do the wrong thing or because it a confusing situation. We have been working with him on this topic, trying social stories, explaining what he should do and recently I have been using movies to help.

     When we watch a movie where a character makes a bad decision, I pause the movie and talk with Karl and Kyle. I ask them if the decision was good or bad. They usually understand it was a bad decision, so I ask why it was a bad decision. They give me examples and are usually spot on. So then I ask them what could be some consequences from that bad decision, they have fun trying to figure out what is going to happen n the movie. Then we watch the movie, pausing now and then to discuss their answers verses what happened and discuss what could happen in real life.

 Last night I came home and he ran up to me, this was our conversation:

K - "Does Amazon cost money to watch a movie?
Me - "Yes, some movies cost money. Why?
K - "I was looking for a movie, I found one and clicked on it. I saw it would cost money and thought:

         Mommy will be mad at me
         I will get in trouble
         I will get grounded

     So I shut Amazon off and went on Netflix."
Me - "I AM SOOO PROUD OF YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I picked him up an held him so tight :)